Giving her spare keys just make everything seemed more perfect for me, how she would let herself into my apartment, getting something to drink and then hanging around with me, how she would leave a single flower arrangement on my study table from time to time. Every little gesture from her simply warmed me. I know I’ve been hoping too much, but I felt like as if we were together already.

Since we were crossing paths in our lives again, we tried to get into each other’s lives as much as possible to make up for the one we missed.

“Come to the bar with my friends and I. They’re trying to set me up with someone and I hate it. So you must save me from this. I love the dancing part when going out, just hating the part when they push me with someone I barely know.”

“You maybe should try to… you know… get yourself a boyfriend to save you from this.”

“Sigh… it’s not easy to get a boyfriend.”

“Well…” I hesitated but curiosity won, “have you had one?”

“Erm… nope… never…” She paused and then, “What about you?”

I felt my face flushed, “Nope too…” I love her enough to let her go and really wanting her to be happy, “But you should try to go out with some guys you know? We’re getting older…” I tried to make it sounded like a joke.

“I did try to go out with some guys, but I could barely survive on the first date. So no more second date with them.” She said sounding defeated. I felt sorry for her too although my heart was aching from that part of details. Since I have accepted the fact that I couldn’t be with her, I’d better wish her well and don’t want her to miss out this part of life just like me… giving up on love lives.

This was the first time I went out clubbing with her and her friends. They are all guys and they had gotten her more drinks than my comfort, even though she sure can drink a lot and not getting drunk, I still felt uneasy. “Do you often go out with them?”