She was taking something form me. Some memory of Rachel and me hanging out by the football field. The day I could see it so clear, the blue of the sky, no clouds in site. Rachel handing me the bottle in the paper bag. The sting of the vodka as it burned its way down. The way she looked at me like I was the only one alive to her. Then nothing…..

Ch 5

You tear down all my reason….

You see thru what I hide…..

You make me perfect…

Help me get inside…..

When the day came I found myself in the hospital. I could see the red I.V. hooked up to my arm. I smile despite the predicament I was in. For some reason this being…this demon she didn’t want to kill me. I lay in that hospital smiling. I was dangerously over the line. Far more exciting than drinking myself to death. The pursuit of this woman this thing was bringing me closer to the place I wanted to be in.

Did she fancy me as the French would say? Yes she wanted me as much as I did her. But our wants where not the same. Her want of me was to take that last drop, that last memory and my want of her probably could not be fulfilled. She wasn’t hot for me the way I was for her.

 Simple?

 When I closed my eyes to shield them from the sun peeking into my room, I saw her floating in that white dress like a white wedding. I felt her inside me; I felt that delicious pull of her dragging me down.

The hospital was crowded and no one really noticed when I got my stuff and left. The dizzy sensation her smooth words and the breeze of the streetcar carrying me to my rats nest of room. The last stop was Canal St. and as usual it was crowded with tourists. I walk so slow effortless. It was day that meant she was sleeping. The pounding drums where quiet and still.

I was somewhere between life and death. I wondered how long it would take for her to kill me. I wondered who Guillaume was. Why was she so in fear of him? My key rattled as I tried to open my door. When I hit the bed I fall asleep. And I dream. I dreamed of Carmen in her box arms crossed. She opens her eyes in my dream.

She wakes up and we are in my room. Naked….. Making love like “mortals.” Hot sweaty in the heat of the city. The noise of the Quarter drowning out the sounds we are making, and moans and groans of pleasure. We are connected. That pounding of our hearts pumping blood so fast. We roll tangled in my sheets, her hair wild draped all over me. Her nails scratching my flesh and those teeth biting me…the dream turns real as day turns to night…she is my room and she is finishing me off……

TBC

Featured songs:

Infected By: Misery Loves Company

Closer to god By: Nine Inch Nails (not to be confused with the often played Closer. This version if you find it is the alternate version, I actually prefer it more.)