‘I have to go,’ she whispers softly in my ear.
‘I know,’ I say, and I try to hide my disappointment, but I can’t. She presses herself closer to me, her naked skin incredibly warm against my back. She feels so good. ‘Stay,’ I suddenly hear myself say.
She sighs and I know the look she has on her face right now. Guilt. Frustration. Sweetness. ‘Fuck, C, I can’t. I really have to go.’ But she doesn’t make a move to get out of bed.
I’ll make her go, I promise myself, but not just yet. She kisses my shoulder. Call in sick, I think but I don’t ask her that. Suddenly we hear footsteps, the creaking of the stairs. ‘Shit!,’ she whispers loudly and she gets out of bed. She picks up different items of clothing and quickly puts them back on.
I groan for the perfect moment to be ruined. I don’t want to get up and get dressed. I want to stay in bed with her all day, naked. I can hear to which person these muffled footsteps belong, it’s Julian. Shane throws my clothes at me, as if to help me. She’s in panic.
‘Don’t worry, he won’t come in,’ I reassure her and I put my clothes back on. I do it slowly on purpose, because I don’t want her to know I’m just as scared as she is. It’s my fault, I should have known that there was a possibility of Julian coming home early. He skips nearly all his classes. The footsteps disappear down the stairs again and I breath an inner sigh of relief. She gives me a quick peck on the lips. ‘I have to go,’ she says for the third time, ‘I’ll see you tonight?’
I smile at her brightly. ‘Yeah,’ I say with a nod of my head, ‘I’ll cook.’
‘You don’t have to.’
She kisses me again. It takes every muscle in me to let her go.
‘Yes I do baby. Now go!’
She chuckles and opens the door. She looks at me one more time and I blow her a kiss. The happy look she gets on her face is priceless. As she closes the door I sigh contently and sit back down on my bed.

Shane closed the door behind her and walked down the stairs with a smile on her face. She immediately tried to switch her mind back into hairstylist-mode, but she couldn’t, all she could think of was Carmen. Her kisses, her smell, her laughter, she already knew those things would be stuck in her head for the rest of the day. As she made her way downstairs and walked into the hallway she saw Julian standing there, with his back turned to her. She wondered if she should say hello to him and act like nothing was going on or if she should try to get the hell out of there as soon as possible. But it’d probably already be too late for that. She walked up behind him and cleared her throat with some effort.
‘Hey Julian.’
He turned around and eyed her suspiciously, his jaw clenched. ‘Hey.. Shane.’
Shane nodded and walked passed him, feeling a small wave of relief. Just when she placed her hand on the doorknob Julian said: ‘I know who you are Shane. Don’t hurt her.’
Shane stopped in her tracks and turned around, facing Julian. She frowned, who did he think he was? Al fucking Capone? ‘What are you talking about,’ she asked, but the words sounded weak and she knew it.
He shrugged and stared at the opposite wall for a second, without an expression on his face.
‘You know what I’m talking about. Carmen is my closest sister, and I’ve known about her for a while now. She thinks I don’t know.’
He bit his lip and smiled softly, almost shyly, and the habit reminded her of Carmen.
‘How do you know?’ Shane asked, because there was no point in denying it anymore.
‘She wears her heart on her sleeve. Always has. It’s not that hard to figure out what she’s thinking.’
Teach me how to read her mind, Shane thought and she held back a uneasy chuckle. Alice’s been so wrong for calling her Yoda. She doesn’t know all. She doesn’t know everything about Carmen, up until a few moments ago she didn’t even know her favorite color.
‘She wants to keep it a secret.’
‘I know,’ Shane replied sadly.
‘It’s for the best,’ he said, nodding slowly and the look on his face told Shane he felt bad for her.
‘But you don’t seem to mind that she’s gay?’
‘No, she’s my sister, I love her no matter what. She always helps me, y’know.. when I’m in trouble. She.. she has a good heart and I need her, I won’t judge her. But the rest of the family… it’s complicated… They won’t be as forgiving.’
Shane breathed in deeply and felt anger rising in her. Forgiving.. as if Carmen ever did them anything wrong.
He didn’t notice her anger and sighed. ‘Treat her gently, please,’ he said and the look in his coffee brown eyes was almost pleading, begging.
He really cares about her, Shane thought.
‘If have seen her heartbroken before, I don’t want to see it again,’ Julian said, his voice calm but the threatening fire in his eyes was burning. He was being serious. But just a kid.
Shane wanted to ask him about Carmen’s ex-girlfriends, but she didn’t.
‘If you mess up, I know where to find you,’ he said with a cold stare, pointing a finger at her.
Shane pursed her lips to hold back another chuckle, she didn’t want to humiliate him. It was actually kinda cute, the way he was so protective of his older sister.
‘No need to be cocky man. I won’t hurt her.. I care a lot about Carmen,’ she reassured him.
Julian eyed her carefully, suckling slowly at his bottom lip.
I can’t believe he’s only her half brother, he’s the spitting image of Carmen, Shane thought.
‘You better,’ Julian finally said, and with that he turned away from her, and walked out of the hallway. Shane watched him go and then opened the front door and walked out of the house. She glanced back over her shoulder, and saw shadows moving around in Carmen’s room. She got in her car and sighed. She was already late for work.
I won’t hurt her, she had promised him. God, she hoped it was true. She took one last glance at Carmen’s bedroom window and saw Carmen opening the window and waving her goodbye. Shane smiled at her and put on the ignition. Carmen blew her another kiss as Shane honked the horn and then she drove off.