She left after a few hours of drinking and talking, which was very relaxing but our conversation got me thinking. One thing I really liked about Helena was that she easily accepted my reluctance to commit to anything serious. I told her about Bette and the heartbreak I went through. Helena understood and told me that she wasn’t looking for a lifetime commitment right now either.

Helena admitted that she made many mistakes regarding relationships and right now she needed something uncomplicated. Too many times women were throwing themselves at her because of her money and I think she was surprised that it didn’t mattered to me at all. She said that she could finally be herself and spoil me without trying to impress me.

Yes, I was having a great time and that’s all I wanted for the moment. No strings, no emotional entanglements. I was following Shane’s advice and I loved it so far.

We all make choices in life. Sometimes they are right, sometimes there are wrong but they are our choices. I’d rather blame myself for the wrong choices I made than blame others for the right choices I didn’t make.

Los Angeles, Present Day: Bette’s narration

Alice finally left and I went outside to sit on my patio and enjoy the early morning sun. My conversation with Alice got me thinking that I did give up too easily. In my defense, I only walked away because I was the one who made a mistake. I was the fool who let Tina go and I didn’t want her to think that I was weak and flaky. I wanted Tina to see me as a strong, independent and trustworthy partner as I once was to her.

I should’ve never let Tina go. I wanted to respect her wish and leave her alone as I promised but I didn’t want her to be ‘the one that got away’ and have regrets for the rest of my life if there was even a slightest possibility of a second chance for us. I was sincere when I said that I wanted Tina to be happy. I wish I was part of Tina’s happiness but because I fucked up, I was the one who had to fix this mess and let Tina decide what she ultimately wanted on her terms and on her time.