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Oasis Part 10
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Living, that’s what I wanted. I dreamed of. It seemed like such a far off dream sometimes, one that lived at a hazy distance. Now that I had it, could taste it, I was so afraid that it was going away.
I didn’t want to walk into the antiseptic. It wasn’t cleansing, it stained.
“Bells,” Helena encouraged, her English lilt strangely soothing to my frazzled nerves. Clutching my elbow, she ‘guided’ me through the doors. We had waited long enough by Helena’s reckoning, and I was probably running late for my appointment.
I was really really hopping that we would.
Fuck it’s exhausting being a child. How on Earth does Alice manage it and still be so full of energy. I hope that one day she tells me her secret.
We step out of the elevator, onto the the coarse carpet. It was still off white. Was the carpet once white, pure and untouched by disease? Then, after years of sitting on this floor, one of the most terrifying floors of this building, did the disease soak in. The fears and the disappointments of the patients.
“Bells, love.” Helena called me, drawing me from my thoughts. “We can’t stand here forever.”
I look over to her, my friend. The sister of my heart, who grew there since we were 12… 18 years later she is still here. Holding out her hand, waiting patiently for me to grab on. To step out.
She really is beautiful, beyond her think, dark brown tresses. Her long slim legs and gorgeous hourglass figure. Far beyond her facial features; her high cheek bones. She is just beyond beautiful on the inside. One day, she’ll find someone who will hold that beauty and nurture it, she deserves nothing less.
I take her hand and we walk down the hall, listening to our muffled footsteps on the old carpet. I squeezed Helena’s hand, grateful for her presence in such a misleading place, in my life period.
As we walked I studied her. At this moment she was so strong, she looked so strong, unless you knew her. Knew that she chewed at the inside of her cheek when she was nervous. She would also limp, from a broken leg when we were on vacation at Whistler.
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Hi, sweet Deean! Holy wow! We are speechless. We never expected Bette to have experienced Cancer. Indeed it is a serious topic. It affects not only the individual who has it, but the ripples of pain expand to her/ his friends and family. No wonder Bette has so many dreadful thoughts and doesn’t want to be pitied. However, she has to understand that her friends and family’s concern is her well being, because they love her. We also believe that while she has been in contact with hunger, war casualties, death and tragic events, they all have a certain influence to depress her attitude. We certainly hope that with the necessary help and the solid support of those around her, that she will be able to overcome the dark place where she is right now. The medical check up is a MUST, if she wants to make sure the illness hasn’t returned. Thanks for this brilliant update. PPS Hugs and kisses on both your cheeks – Lucero & Marsha (Proud Salsa Aunties to the ever loving JC and Eunichick)
hel is such a good friend im nervous at the results of this appointment.cant wait 4 more
Oh NOOOOOO, Bette has been sick with this for a long time. That is one reason that she was seeing the world and trying to be happy. Dang, thanks for friends like Helena,and the rest of the gang for being there,and for Kit for just loving her. She really has some true friends.they are hard to find. thanks
I knew it, I knew it!! I was sure she had HIV though, and never thought of cancer. I am pretty sure though, that if it were back, it would show up in the blood work that she would have had earlier. Helena is the best sister friend. I still say, about the others, it’s still Bette’s life, and she has to be able to live it on her terms, not theirs. I also have to say, T…T..TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS….. for BOOTS? I am with azmama, be nice to my imaginary Bette!
all this cause she hugged Jenny in Season 5? wow. i need a hug.
When I first read the author’s note, I misread it and thought it said, “you’re all GERMS.” I thought that was a strange thing for Deann to say! Gems is much better!
You can’t post quick enough…..
I knew it! Bette is sick and has been sick before. She knows the signs and was trying her best to ignore them. Helena won’t let her do it though and that’s a true friend. I love this story and will wait patiently for your next chapter. Thanks!
I knew it had to be something more serious than a cold or pneumonia. I hope she doesn’t die. There’s enough sadness in this world and I don’t like it when serious shit happens to my imaginary friends.
Hello My Beautiful Dee… I am brought to tears by this chapter of your beautiful story… it holds so many memories… so many truths… so much rawness and so much intensity … something I have come to appreciate from you… I won’t go into to many details as I’m sure you are already bogged down ;) ;) with my mundane meanderings… but just know you are completely amazing… Love and Hugs, Always and Forever, JC (Latin Nephew to those Salsa Angels and ever loving Cuzzie to the ever talented Eunichick)