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    Oasis Part 20

    I lay still for a few more moments, enjoying the sun and my unexpected moment of solitude.  Daddy was coming to town, I had to slap myself to make sure I was awake.

    Daddy is coming.

    I had so much to do, first being I needed some food in my pantry.  Jumping up of the ground, my head starts to spin.  I stumble, falling to my knees.  On second thought, maybe I wouldn’t be getting any food right now.

    I rest my head on shaking hands, breathing slowly.  The nightmare has barely started and I am already collapsing under its weight.  Jesus.

    The tears come unbidden.  Self pity is not attractive, but I can’t even stand up.  My house is void of food, and other basic necessities.  My bike Peggy has taken to get fixed, and I have a feeling I’ll be getting a mountain bike in return.  Everything of mine, that’s me, is fading away and I am powerless to stop it.

    Sobs rip at my throat, painfully.

    “It’s okay,” I hear someone whisper, as they gently pat at my hair.  It’s a gesture so intimate that I can name 3 people who have ever done this for me.  Now, it will be four.  “Let’s get you more comfortable.”  She coaxed, helping me to my feet.

    My knees buckle, as my head once again starts to spin.  Up was bad right now; instead of falling to my knees, strong arms surrounded me and helped me walk into the house.  “C’mon Bette, it’s not far now.”  I looked towards the sofa, and it looked a mile away.

    Distance is relative, and relative to my rebelling body – that was too far away.

    I breathed in as deep as I could and steadfastly dragged myself to the sofa.  Once step, two step, and finally I am there falling into its warm embrace.

    “Are you okay.”  Blinking my eyes I turn to face the person who helped me.  Tina.  I had forgotten that I have left her sleeping in here.

    Wiping my eyes I mumble softly, “fine.” I know I should look up to her, but I am embarrassed.

    “I’m sorry?”  She questioned, obviously my words were much softer then I thought.  Fiddling with my pants I notice a green and brown stain on its knees, thankfully jeans are durable.  I know when I get them off my knee is going to be bruised, as is the state of me right now.

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    Comments

    1. I HEART YOU… sorry I disappeared on you in the spotlight… I was out of commission sick with food poisoning :S we will catch up soon… OMG Babylon 5 Season 2-4 are the best TV has ever created… so much I want to chat with you about my lovely friend… be back soon with my thoughts… but first wanted to say love ya, JC

    2. Hi there, dear sweet Deean! Bette’s body must certainly look fragile. The deterioration of her health is one of the reasons behind it. Also, the lack of meals ingestion is taking its toll. Ah, Bette needs to be more careful, as with the treatment she is going to receive, her immune system will require a large doze of nutritional elements, to overcome the secondary effects. We believe that Bette has not achieved the proper balance in her life; mentally, bodily and spiritually. Once she gets these essential basics, she might be able to reach the inner peace she has been looking for. Tina’s presence is a beautiful distraction and it is good to see that she speaks her mind. Bette certainly needs someone to get her out of her “own world” of thoughts. The book project is another incentive for Bette, as to focus on something else than her illness. Excellent chapter, dear friend. Looking forward for your next installment. PPS Hugs & kisses on both your cheeks.- Lucero & Marsha (Proud Salsa Aunties to the ever loving JC and Eunichick and Tias Adoradas to Patpez)

    3. I think your Tina is the perfect person to bring into Bette’s life. She will bring her what she needs during the treatments and in her life, in general, a new friend and possibly a great love. I love your writing and can’t wait for more…pps

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