Alex, that could mean anything. You know how these fortunetellers work; they come up with something generic that applies to almost everyone. Who isnt paying a mortgage or a car loan or something?

My car is ten years old. It was paid long ago and spends most of its time garaged. As for the mortgage, we had insurance. When Catherine died it was paid in full.

Bette was afraid to ask. Tina could see on Bettes face a look of confusion. Tina, therefore, asked gently, what debt are you paying, Alex?

Alex went and poured herself another drink. She sat down and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. I dont know if I can do this. Its too hard.

Tina again was being supportive, you can do what you need to do.

Alex took another deep breath before continuing, Ive been paying a debt all of these years to Catherine. Why do you think I never stay in one place very long? Why do I never let anyone get close to me? Why have I even distanced myself from you guys? Ive had a debt to pay.

Bette looked at Alex in total confusion. What debt is that?

Its my fault shes dead.

How is it your fault? She died in a car accident.

Alex again took another deep breath. Drink in hand, she walked over to the window and looked out. With her back to Bette and Tina she continued speaking. The night Catherine died; I was supposed to have run an errand for her. I called and told her that I was in the middle of something that I wanted to get finished. She was her usual sweet self and she said that was fine. She was sure William H. Taft would enjoy the drive so, she would just run the errand herself.

Tina looked at Bette questioningly. Bette mouthed to her William H. Taft was their dog.

Tina nodded to Bette to indicate that she understood.

Alex continued. If I hadnt been so selfish and hadnt wanted to finish what I was doing, she wouldnt have been out that night. She wouldnt have hit the ice and she wouldnt be dead. Id been in the library all day. I didnt even know what the weather was like outside. I was too goddamned absorbed in my work.