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On the verge – Chapter two
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“It’s more… I couldn’t keep any secrets from her, because she was just there all the time. She was like the other part of me. I feel like some part of my soul, of my heart is just cut off with a blunt knife. I… I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe she did it. Why didn’t she talk to me? She knew I would never judge her. She knew I would always be her best friend, even if she’d have killed someone.”
“She was derailed, Tina. She was blinded by her love, she thought that life wasn’t worth it without you. I can’t imagine what I’d do if I’d lose you.”
“Nothing stupid, I hope.”
“Dying for you is not stupid.”
“How the hell would it help anyone if you died?” Tina snapped. How could he be so insensitive? Talk about death as if it was something beautiful, honorable?
“You’re a bit emotional. Maybe we should just try to sleep.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever sleep again.”
“You’ll have to. You have to think ahead, baby. Think of your future. Think of the kids we’ll have.”
“She’ll never see them. They’ll never have an auntie Bette. FUCK!” she screamed, crying her heart out again. “How could she? If she really loved me, how could she?”
A few hours later, Eric was fast asleep but Tina couldn’t even close her eyes. She felt sick and it felt like her head would just explode with tears. Her children would never know the most wonderful person in her life. Her children would never meet the person who made her who she was, the person who had always meant everything to her. They would only hear stories about auntie Bette, but never experience how great she was. She didn’t know if she could forgive Bette for that.
She was angry with her, angry and disappointed. She didn’t know which feeling was more prominent: the guilt, the anger, the hurt, the heartache. Her life had fallen apart, a part of her had been ripped out of her chest. The question was always on her mind: Why? Why didn’t she tell her? But she also asked herself the very same question? Why hadn’t she told Bette about her feelings when they were 19? Why had she assumed Bette would never love her that way? Why had she kept on harboring those feelings for all the years since, but still got involved with these other people? To think she had hurt Bette so deeply was too much to bear. She had hurt her when it was so unnecessary.
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Hey Genner! First off, Happy Birthday! I personally loved 18. It made me feel very grown up. Enjoy Santorini, it seems like a wonderful way to celebrate your birthday, even if you don’t want to turn 18. Now, for the story… I’m worried about reading it. I have a feeling it’ll make me cry because the diaries are going to be beautiful and the stories excellent, and then I’ll remember that Bette’s dead and that they won’t get to share any of it anymore. So if you stop getting comments from me at one point, it’s because the crying got to me. But wow, fantastic story.
Happy Birthday for Saturday! :) THank you for this story even if it is so heartbreaking. I can’t believe Bette killed herself…so sad! so sad!
Happy birthday, Gen! You know, 18 is also a magic number. Have a fantastic time in Santorini. That place is awsome and beautiful! As for the story, it very sad and full of emotions. Ah, we will love to learn about Bette’s diaries. Too bad that Tina found out about Bette’s love after she died. You are doing a great job here, Gen. We will really like for you to continue with this tale. Thanks for posting. PPS Hugs & kisses on both your cheeks. – Lucero & Marsha (The Salsa Aunties)
Happy Birthday. This so sad.maybe it a dream. Have a wonderful w/end. will be out of town for a week, and cant read anything thanks
First happy happy birthday! 18 is pretty magical. I turn 25 in five days and I will say from my experience 18-25 were amazing but I feel it only gets better everyday. So enjoy your birthday live it up! As far as the story is concerned I think it’s wonderfully raw and powerful. Keep it up! I’m curious to see where you will take it. Please don’t make it a dream sequence. I think it would take away from the reality you’ve managed to create in such a short amount of time. Anyways enough rambling great work!
Uhhh, this just screwed up my morning. I hope somebody is having a friggin nightmare, cuz I definitely am! Crud, why did I read this?????????????ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!PS. Don’t take my reaction personally. I actually love the way you write. You’re an outstanding author. I’ve read lots of your work. I just don’t prefer stories where death is involoved. They tend to make me angry and depressed. I don’t like feeling like that. It’s no picnic in the park. I’m going to find something to put me in a happy place now. (sigh)
Well written, but sad. I’m hoping it all a dream too.
Happy birthday Genner! Hope you’ll have a great time in Santorini. This is so sad but beautifully written. I have to ask you something though, how come that men are insensitive assholes with no sense of tact in most of your stories?
Love your writing, hate to cry