“I don’t think I’ve ever felt that much sorrow and … elation at the same time.  I’d lost you.  Daddy had just died."  She paused and looked to her right to catch Tina’s line of sight. 

“You made me so happy that day.  You said you wanted to come home.  Wanted to be a family.”  Bette broke their gaze to look back to the sofa where they sat.  Remembering how speechless she had been at Tina’s admission of wanting to come home.  One that sounded suspiciously familiar to what she professed to wanting again. 

“Seven months later you were sleeping with Henry.”

Throughout her voice had been quiet.  As she spoke tears collected and blurred her vision.  She blinked and sizable drops fell from her lower lids and lashes bypassing flushed cheeks to land near the tips of her shoes.  The wet splatter reminiscent of how shattered the couple had become.

Tina touched Bette’s hand with the warmth of her left.  She too was crying.  She too remembered as vividly.  How much she wanted to mend their brokenness.  Ignoring the critical emotions still buried from the affair.  The mistake of pushing Bette away.  Asking for too much in the realm of Bette’s employment or lack thereof.  Reaching for something she knew deep inside would never make her completely happy to escape the insecurity of where they were.

For a while, neither woman said anything.  They saw themselves.  The impending birth was such a happy occasion.  Sitting there with smiles on their faces.  Even if there was still so much unresolved.

Looking back, they both fought the urge to call out to their images and counsel themselves about the careful measures that should have been taken.  Signs and conversations they ignored.

“We can’t afford to make any more mistakes,” the brunette remarked.  Knowing she wouldn’t be able to pull herself back from the havoc of that kind of pain again, there was infinitely more that just herself to consider. 

She uttered a name in explanation.  “Angelica.” 

“I know.”  Tina answered.

The comment was on point.  They had so much more at stake than just themselves.  Tina didn’t take it lightly.  Thinking things through and making sure before even contemplating the request to try again.  Their daughter tied them forever.  They both loved her unequivocally.  As such they couldn’t risk it, even for themselves, that Angelica would have anything less than what their current relationship offered.