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Sometimes I heard the words that were coming from her mouth and often I couldn’t believe she was the one saying them. Do you have any idea how it feels to not be able to communicate back on any level? It’s fucking hard, I’ll tell you that. I’ve never heard her be so vulnerable and open before, if I was thankful in any way to be in that shape after hitting a truck then it was to hear her apologise to me and promise that she’d help me fight it. If I could have cried I would have. I began to realise the times when I dreamt of her coincided with her visits and if she sat there long enough then I would start to hear her more clearly. It took some getting used to, voices were always distorted to begin with and in the thirst to hear what was going on I’d tire myself out into unconsciousness again so I had to be careful to just let it come to me.

I believe in those couple of weeks I fell in love with her all over again, destroying all progress I’d made trying to get over her for so long. I hated and loved her for that. She was hard to forget and easy to fall for, something she has no idea about and would look at me like I was crazy if I told her so, but it was true. I began to hope that I wouldn’t wake up too soon as it was kind of amazing just hearing her talk to me like I was her best friend again, I felt like nothing had happened to me and we’re were just goofing around. I was beyond touched that she seemingly visited every day, it gave me hope that there was maybe something still there, some hope of a feeling that could be rekindled. I felt like I was just kidding myself though. Shane was at my side a lot too and that wasn’t because she was harbouring any romantic feelings for me so why would Dana? However it was that niggling feeling that stopped me going crazy or worse, just slipping away. I began to crave her when she wasn’t near and opted to let my dreams take me into a world full of her presence that lingered even when I ‘woke up’ to hear Tina or Jenny’s voice in the room.