Finally she lifted her head from the table with a groan and I could see that her eyes were still a light red form her hangover.

“You know,” I sensed that she was still irritated. “Ever since you and I have been hanging out more, I’ve been getting more hangovers and less sleep.” She carried on drinking her espresso and I couldn’t help but smile at her disdain for strong coffee.

“Sorry.”

Since Shane had left and Lara had came back from Paris, effectively taking up all of Dana’s time, I had formed a strong, unique friendship with Carmen that not many people knew of. Probably because I could relate to a lot of the hardships she was going through.

In my mind, it felt like I had battled a lot of Dana’s demons during her cancer stage and after it was all over, it was almost as though Lara came back and nothing I had done mattered to Dana, seeing as to how her and Lara were always joined by the hip which left little, if any, time for me.

“Al, you’re doing it again.” I snapped out of my daze and stared back at Carmen as she downed the rest of her coffee and set the cup back onto the table with a smack.

I feigned innocence. “Doing what?”

Rather then get agitated again she just gave me a tired look. “You’re thinking of Dana.”

“Sorry.”

“You say that a lot.” She tightly shut her eyes. “Just like someone else I knew.”

Shane.

“Who do you know?” The voice behind me made me sick to my stomach when I realized who it was. It was Lara, followed closely by Dana.

“Morning guys.” Carmen spoke up after she saw my reaction.

They took their seats and after a few ‘good mornings’ had been shared around the table everyone had lapsed into a conversation about what their plans were for the day. And although I remained unusually quiet and only spoke when spoken to, sometimes I’d look over and catch Dana staring at me before quickly looking away.

Don’t ask me why, because I don’t even know the answer to that question.

I was becoming bored until I glanced downward and saw that Dana and Lara were holding hands under the table. In an instant, my mood had shifted from one of boredom to one of jealousy. I didn’t know if I wanted throw up, knock the table over, or run out the door.

However, my salvation came when Helena strolled over to our table and couldn’t find an extra chair.

“Here,” I stood up. “You can have my seat. I’ve got to be leaving anyways.”

For some reason, Dana let go of Lara’s hand and looked at me with a look I couldn’t read. I almost wanted to apologize until I remembered the lecture Carmen had given me about saying the ‘s’ word.

So before anybody could say anything I hurried up and left then stood up against the wall beside the Planet’s doors as I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. No matter how many times I saw Lara and Dana together, I couldn’t get used to it and I knew that I didn’t soon, then I’d lose Dana all over again.

At times like these I really needed Shane. Not only because she had the answer to everything but also because she understood something that nobody other than me did.

She understood what it felt like to feel completely alone.