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Phoenix Rising (21)
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Bette gave Tina a sweet smile.
“You know that through all the bullshit…everything…even then…you’re the only woman I ever wanted…you know that don’t you? I just kept being such an asshole. I hated myself. I’d hate it when you’d look at me… and… be disappointed…and when you lost the baby… T…I just kept feeling like a fucking useless idiot. I couldn’t help you…and…it hurt so fucking much…and we were so fucking separate by that time…shit T…I never wanted anyone else…I…”
Bette paused to catch her breath and wipe her face. She took a deep breath and continued.
“…I just wanted something easy …an escape…I’m so sorry…I think back…and the thought of touching her…it was really never all that appealing, but shit T…I did want her to just fucking take me…just let me close my eyes and let someone want me…and to take control…but I’ve never wanted anyone but you, I swear…I know that sounds all kind of crazy…but it’s true…It’s always been you…”
Tina leaned up and placed a gentle kiss on Bette’s lips and spoke quietly through her tears.
“Well I have to say I’ve had my doubts…but not while we were together…I guess that made it worse. I felt like such a fool. I’d start wondering if there were others…if that was why you hadn’t been as …you know …interested…God knows you had plenty of opportunity…Shit Bette…Was she the only one?”
Bette sat up and looked down at Tina with a terrified expression on her face.
“Tina, you have to believe me…no….no I swear…never…I’ve always looked at women…but I swear I’ve never even wanted to sleep with another woman…never…I swear…”
Tina looked at Bette and there were fresh tears in her eyes and Bette saw the doubt and continued.
“T…listen to me…it was a week…during the most horrible time in our lives…everything was spinning out of control at the same time…and I had this very pushy butch practically begging me to let her have her way with me…I gave in…I never lied to you…not once…I bent the truth a bit, you know, the day we fought about her doing the work at the Center….but I swear…I’m not a liar…I swear…I’m sorry…but you have to believe me…”
Tina looked up at Bette with a serious expression and answered Bette quietly.
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This story is such a breath of fresh air and I find myself hunting for an update. LOL I can’t wait for their first real date. PPS
D, you teased me. I thought for sure they were going to do the NASTY. LOL. But no, you pulled the reins in. I happy that they can talk, cry, and laugh together. The healing has begun. Great update.
:) This chapter made me happy. Heck, DnA, all of your chapters make me happy, even through the hard parts –like this one had, and even the ones that get me a bit teary. I’ll just say I’m happy when you post and leave it at that. Thanks for the chapter! :) (still happy!)
Terrific, a new post from DnA! I love them talking and getting things straightened out. I love Bette’s patience and the way she’s helping Tina really unselfishly.
The lines of communication have opened up. Now they can move forward and begin a new chapter in their lives.
Im really loving this story thank you so much for posting.
Update, please??
this was really nice, ya know? ;)
Awe that was so good, you leave me with a warm fuzzy feeling about how well they are doing. Wow Bette has given it a lot of thought and I like that she’s come up with answers. Nice writting and thanks for sharing with us
I really love this story. I’m glad they were able to have such a meaningful talk.
Hi D&A, Gal that was awesome. Your showed how good it is to real talk. There was such an air of love and emotional support through this chapter as Bette finally told Tina the complete truth about the events and feelings that lead up their break-up and the fallout.Tina need to hear this to understand their past and realize that they can have a future together.This was a cathartic discussion.I am so happy that they aren’t rushing anything as this is so precious to them that they need the time and space to come together completely.Now I can’t wait to find out more from Tina’s journal as her visible and emotional wounds heal.There will be scars but with the love and encouragement.Then the date…Oh I am so excited at the prospect.Many thanks from Your Loyal Fan.
I love all this talking that Bette and Tina are doing….it always felt like there was so much betweeen them and no words to express it….and you are giving it all words very nice
I love the discussions you are letting B & T have. So much love and support shown in this conversation. Thanks for the great update! PPS
Nice to hear they’ll be spending more happy time together ;-)
Fantastic chapter. So glad they had that time together and got a few things worked out. Now they have the date to look forward to and apartment hunting and their future together. It’s awesome. Thsnks
I feel really great now about them two. Great to see it is going smoothly. PPVS
Excellent update. Thank you for this story. Just brilliant.
DnA- I am just catching up– which is SUCH a PLEASURE, clicking on that Next Post by This Author button and finding post after post. I got spoiled. Your writing is very warm and rich and satisfying. I can’t wait to see what you do with the round robin, it’s a bit different so that will be fun for you I expect.
Just caught up with your story… It’s wonderful :) PPS
More, more, more please
Please come back and finish this dory. I love it.
Sorry, let’s try again. Please finish this story. Thx
I support, please continue this story, she and beautiful.