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    Phototropic 5

    Story written on June 21, 2008 by New Dawn Fades.
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    1 vote, average: 2.00 out of 51 vote, average: 2.00 out of 51 vote, average: 2.00 out of 51 vote, average: 2.00 out of 51 vote, average: 2.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 7
    Words: 1766
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=70006
    Author Notes:

    Are you re·ceiv·ing…..just a sec…..

    Six

     

     

    It was this one night, yeah. This night was make or break it night. They asked me once on a test did I see the glass as half empty or half full. I told them that my glass was broken. Some wise guy I read once, once on a beach with Carmen. The guy said that broken doesn’t mean fixed. Anyway on this night I had that moment of clarity, and I felt like I didn’t want to do this anymore. The exercise was live fire. The snow was not beautiful. I had this cold in my lungs, god everything was not working that day, but there she was. Those eyes. Not like now, then. Not like any moment I had ever known. It was just this total understanding, blind. Those war drums that only we could hear. The impetrative always was to be someone else. Trust, suffering, listlessness, fear, understanding, codes, control, lost, words, words, words. She climbed down the ladder and the ball was in her court, you know just how she likes it.

     

     

    They counted all my errors and mistakes. I was raw. I had no real technique. And she didn’t defend me. That’s not what she is about. She is about the most opposite of being. She is beauty and is a different kind of perfection. Razors could only hope to have her sharpness. Sharp in the mind, enough cut through any brain really. Sharp with her teeth and nails, her words biting into me, chunks, flesh. The trick is to remember how she matters not.

     

     

    I try to imagine how I am not what was intended. I think back to training with her and the little bit of memory that I had. I know that she was better. That she would become less attached somehow to the marks. I know that she was an accomplished liar. That alone made her better than me. But she did not have what I have. She can’t do what I can. It’s not a matter of elixirs it’s not a matter of brain damage, it’s more a matter of fear.

     

     

    Fear drives the motors of my mind. And I don’t say this as a justification. I am afraid. I just don’t let it rule my cracked universe. I like the unknown. I like that edge of no escape. I mean how many times do you get to stand at the edge of universe, peer out into the unknown and have it look back at you, you know?

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    Comments

    1. Once a week? I’ll take it when I can get it. :D This story is great, a little gory (I liked that thing Shane did with the guy’s tongue, eek; now there’s a way to send a message), but it’s great. With all this Carmen talk, I can tell ‘she matters not’ to Shane (yeah, right), but I guess that’s the best way that she cope with the emotional mess that Carmen brought on. Poor Shane. Just treated like a product.

    3. Thanks for awesome update and hint for questions. But more chapters, more questions… Why Carmen is following or (stalking?)Shane? Is it mission of her to kill Shane? It’s good Carmen showing herself in front of Shane and Shane’s bluntness.

    4. ok…so… I dont hate Shane… but i love Carmen… and when she talks i hate Shane but hearing Shane talk i hate Carmen… man.. thi is all messed up… i can tell this is in no way going to end well… if it does end well it is so going to be unexpected because it is no way this could resolved in a good way.. left alone shane and carmen together… so yea expecting the bad ending… if you do a good ending … that looks real that we could understand to be real THEN i will defenetly know you’re a god lol not that i’m pushing you to do it (but i am) because i’m not (i am) i’m just saying… an easy ending is a bad ending… a very difficult and bad ending would take much work… yeah… anyways not that i want an ending… again just saying. NO question today but i do wanna say this is brilliant… much prps

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