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I stand there quietly listening. Ear pressed against the door lightly as it stands ajar.
I listen to the words that fire between Bette and her sister.
It doesn’t seem to hit me in a way that it would hit most.
Instead I feel this sudden guilt. This guilt as if I have her trapped.
I’m the type of person to think of others before myself.
Bette is a very affectionate and generous person but I always felt this sudden lost when she first introduced me to Tina. I know at this moment that just ending the relationship wouldn’t work. I know Bette will feel this urge to keep me no matter what.
I pick myself back up and start to pull together the final touches of my hair.
I begin to hear footsteps approaching closer and then the door opens.
I turn and pull a smile.
“You look great.” She says looking me up and down.
“Thanks.” I smile. “I should get going soon, Alice wanted me to help her with something before it starts. And I’m assuming you aren’t coming?”
“Nah, I’m not feeling up to it but you please go and enjoy yourself.” She smiles again at me as she steps towards me.
“You seem tense.” She says looking me in the eyes.
“Don’t be silly, I’m fine.” I respond.
“I’ll see you when you get back.” She again smiles at me.
I nod and walk pass her towards the door.
I walk slowly through the hall as my mind races with thoughts. I realize Bette will never be happy if she is with me. I’ve learned to accept this. Since I’ve gotten to know Bette, I realize her heart does mean good, and by this, she’ll try to make someone happy before herself.
I reach Alice’s room and knock.
“Hey!” Alice says welcoming me in.
“She wasn’t feeling up to it.”
“No surprise, she never is.”
“Want some wine?”
“Sure.” I smile.
We begin to hear another knock as we walk away.
“Thats gotta be Shane.”
Alice heads back towards the room door to open it.
“I knew it would be you.” She says letting Shane in.
Shane steps in and we make eye contact. “Hey!”
“Hi.” I respond.