Of course what she would change, the thing that she was sure would haunt her until her last breath irrespective as to how well she came to terms with everything else, was the fact that after spending days on end in that hospital room with Dana she picked that one ten minute interval to leave and it resulted in the fact that Dana died alone.  Sure people had explained to her on numerous occasions since then, that it often happens that someone lets go in the minutes they are left alone.  Perhaps to spare their loved ones the pain of witnessing the final moments or perhaps because it’s simply too hard to let go when someone you love is so close.  Either way none of it brought Alice any relief.  She had promised Dana that she would stay with her no matter what.  That anything they had to face they would do so together and then when it was most important she had left her on her own.  Ironically however there was some peace in knowing that this was a regret that she could cling to forever.  It wasn’t irrational and it didn’t consume her every minute of every day so the writer felt entitled to hold on to it.  It wasn’t something she needed to work on or deal with.  It was just there.  Mostly at the back of her mind but from time to time more prominent and she allowed herself the perverse luxury of not letting this one go.

The other thing she would change if she could would be saying all the things to Dana she would have if she’d known there was only a finite amount of time left to say them.  “Wow” she exclaimed suddenly as the realisation struck her that this is exactly what Dana had managed to acquire for herself.  That was what that box really represented.  It was a vehicle for Dana to feel that she had no regrets.  That everything that needed to be said had been.  “Lucky you Dane, Lucky you!” Alice thought as she continued walking.

She rounded a corner and came to a look-out spot where there was an empty bench.  With the stitch now walked off she felt justified in taking a break and sat down.  As she did so she heard a noise overhead and saw a helicopter fly past.  The memories of the day she had spent on the base with Tasha immediately flooded her mind and suddenly she was left with a feeling of sheer confusion.   Both Alice and Lara always knew underneath it all, that the time they spent together had been about Dana for both of them and not about the other.  Then she had her period of portal perusing of Papi and Phyllis, as she now fondly referred to it that required no expending of emotional energy whatsoever.   She was happily continuing along this path when Tasha had walked into her life.