Cut and print.

Benny is supposed to yell at me when he finds me making out with Ramona in the bathroom. He yells in my face and he fucks up the line when I informed him that he spits when he yells. And we laugh and laugh till we are blue in the face. Alice she doesn’t mind because despite the delayed start we are at this point in filming, ahead of schedule. Benny is supposed to be suspicious and slightly jealous of Ramona. Blaming her for everything having gone wrong, to get her to talk he cuts my face. Its a few hours in the makeup chair as Carmen keeps me company making little jokes only I would get. Then its back to the set and Ramona treating my wound in the employee lounge.

 “You’re hurt.”

“I know, Scottie…he does these things…….”

Cut and print.

It’s hard to measure time when you work 7 days a week for like 15-20 hours a day. There where times when I wouldn’t be able to remember how I got to Carmen’s place. Before any of this we went to a party at Mark’s house.

We didn’t go together of course. I went with Benny and Carmen showed up three sheets to the wind. But she handled it. She didn’t make a scene. And everyone kind of waited for her to do it, but she wouldn’t bite. I watched her like a hawk. She was social and charming and oozing sex. But she wouldn’t go for whatever anyone offered her. And after a while she slinked off down one of the halls. The music tribal and urging the moment, pushing us together. I lit my cigarette and walked causally down the hall a few minutes later.

A long hallway, doors every three feet. Which one was she in? I walked a little more and she grabbed me before I could think. In the door we went, lock. Against the door we kissed. Against my lips she said; “this party is so boring.” In my hair she whispered, “the closer I get to you the worse it becomes, I have no dreams, no cares, please….please don’t leave me.”