Alice: Fuck, she got the news about Bette and Jodie’s engagement!

Shane: We need to stop her from driving before she does any damage!

(Before Alice and Shane could do anything, Tina sped off in her car like a maniac, leaving them standing there looking in horror.)

Alice: I’m calling Bette and telling her what’s going on.  (Alice got her cell phone out and dialed Bette’s home number and Bette picked it up on the first ring.)

Bette: Hey Al, what’s up?

Alice: We have a problem here and it is pretty bad too!

Bette (sighed): What is it?

Alice: Shane and I here at the Dyke Bar and we saw Tina speeding off in her car drunk with this red headed slut sitting next to her!

Bette: Fuck Alice, did you try to stop her?!

Alice: Of course we did, but she sped off so quickly before we could stop her and she didn’t see us either!

Shane: Oh shit!

Alice: What is it, Shane?

Shane: I’ve slept with that woman not too long ago and she is a fuckin’ hustler!

Bette (getting more and more frustrated): What the fuck is Shane saying, Al?!

Alice: Do you really want to know?

Bette: You either tell me, or I’ll down there myself and it won’t be a pretty fucking sight either!

Alice: Geez, chill out already!

Bette: ALICE!

Alice: Oh all right, what Shane told me was that the woman who was with Tina was a woman that Shane slept with not too long ago and is a hustler.

(The line went silent for a minute, and then Alice could hear Bette softly crying.)

Bette: She’s still in love with me isn’t she?

Alice: You know the answer better than anyone, Bette.

Bette: Can you and Shane keep a secret for me, Al?

Alice: Of course I can but where is Jodie at the moment?

Bette: She is playing with Angelica and she’s deaf so no worries. Anyway, I am still in love with Tina.

Alice: Oh my god!

Shane: What is it?

Alice (to Shane): Bette is still in love with Tina!

Shane: Holy shit!

Alice (to Bette): Why don’t you tell Tina, she needs to know this!

Bette (sighs sadly): I’m marrying Jodie and it is too late for me to do anything like that.