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Reconciliation Part 28/29 B
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Helena felt the weightiness of the crushing words just as much. Her tears began to flow, “So this was just a little tryst. It meant nothing at all to you.”
‘I didn’t say that”
“Then what did you say? You said this has been ‘a nice holiday’. Well, maybe it was nothing for you but a ‘holiday’ but it meant a lot to me. I really care about you. I care about your family. My kids adore you. But between us, you think it’s just a fucking holiday, just a little distraction for you. Maybe I do regret coming here.”
Raquel’s temper began to boil. She yelled at Helena. “Talvez você não deve ter vindo. O que você querem de mim. Você não está livre? Como pode você dizer você ama-me quando você não estiver livre?” (Maybe you should not have come. What do you want from me? You are not free. How can you say you love me when you are not free?)
“I hate when you do that. Speak to me in English. You hide behind your Portuguese. Why won’t you tell me so I can understand you? Why do you insist on shutting me out?”
Raquel’s eyes glistened with tears as she calmed down, “Eliana, Fuck! What have you done to me? I am so fucked up over you.”
Helena walked over, held Raquel and responded softly, “I’m pretty fucked up over you too. You are not the only one struggling here.”
Raquel moved from Helena’s arms and sat on the edge of her bed, “Yes, but the difference is that your struggle is not just with me. Your struggle is with a love and a hurt that you had two years ago. A love that still is a strong part of your being. A love that you spent the night with several weeks ago. A love that I think you might return to and that’s where I have to be realistic. I haven’t been on a holiday with you as much as you have been on a holiday with me, from her. I can’t do triangles. It destroyed my parents. That’s where I have to draw the line and protect myself. You are not free from her. As you said, she haunts you. I’ll admit it if you want. Yes, I love you. My God, how could I not love you? If that will make you feel better I’ll admit it but it means nothing. I can’t be with you. Not when she is still a part of you. I can’t be your escape, while you sort it out, because in the end it is Raquel who is hurt.”
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It is not yet Saturday morning what are you doing here??????????lol, really glad to see this, I think. I will go read now and rest asure you won’t loose me, who will cry about Raqus in future chapters. BBS. Md
I think I may like Raquel even more! I’m so happy that she was actually pretty open with her emotions, she was smart and didn’t attempt to hide behind being cruel or quickly hooking up with someone else. Helena fully understood where she was coming from…..and the unrequitedness of it…the bittersweetness of it will linger with Helena…she appreciated it and so did I! I can not believe Helena wants to hear Peggy’s uncensored opinion! I don’t see where she will be in Dylan’s corner on this one, Hel! lol! PPS! Ahhhh….there is my song again *dancing*
So well done my friend Squirl, I kinda figured from the start that this was not going to go to far, I am so glad you had them part in good place. Someday maybe they will be able to be friends. Thank you. Md
lovely update i enjoyed the other ending but im also liking this how could i not
Squirly-Whirly! ((: Happy holidays! You know, that was kinda painful to read, especially after reading your previous installments about Raquel. Wow. Ouch. I think this chapter makes me think, like REALLY think, if Helena is really in love with Raquel or on the rebound. Previously, with their connection, I was never left to question much because the feeling which was brought across was that she really felt something for Raquel. Tsk. But I completely understand why Raquel would have reacted both ways to Helena. But sadly enough, -this- is the only way Helena will find a way back to Dylan…if Raquel pushed her away. Now, with that, what does that means then? She needed this push to go back to Dylan? Tsk. I don’t know anymore. All I do know is that I’ve really loved this story and am quite sad to see it ending. Sigh. ((: PPS!
Someone commented on another site about the “heart skipping” issue. She is a Dylena suppporter and was troubled about Helena’s emotions about Raquel. This was my response. I’ll share it with you….It’s funny about the heart skipping thing. I had to read what I had written about them together and what Raquel says about herself to figure out how to break them up. Some things I write knowing I’ll develop it later, like what was on the video, like Raquel being the oldest and taking care of her family. But the heart skipping thing was a recurring thing that I didn’t realize I put in. Before it was always my unconscious way of describing Helena’s response to the excitement of seeing her. Now it’s her heartbreak. (At least I didn’t make her get wet every time she saw her. Somebody else does that ;-))….I tried to keep the emotions of how they feel about each other in this 28/29 the same, but in this one, what they do about it is different. They didn’t sleep together because I think they wouldn’t break up. We hear Raquel’s inner voice and fears more….If Helena is still hung up on Dylan, she will be hurt in the end. So she back pedals and stays the course of just say no. And she KNOWS she’s weak for Helena so she stays far away to not give in to her heart and body. She can’t even face Helena to say goodbye. Poor Raquel is having crushing chest pain right about now but her mind is not willing to let her heart and body take over….What I never develop in the other version because I ended it, is that Dylan has to remain a thorn in Helena’s side, Helena’s not going to forget her that easily. The difference is Helena chooses Raquel and Raquel is determined to win Helena over, to fight for her. So they are on the same tracks…..They feel the same as the last version at this point, it’s just that Raquel is putting on the brakes and stepping out. They are on diverging tracks. But she does give Helena food for thought on the way out. Now she’s the thorn in whatever happens between Dylan and Helena….Now Dylan will have to be the one to fight for Helena’s affection. She’s run before and not wooed Helen. Now Helena has to choose Dylan and let Raquel go…We’ll see how this works out.
I had to catch up on this story and I have to say I was rather disappointed in the first final. I was confused by Helena’s action in the end. Helena left a message on Dylan’s phone saying how much she missed her and wanted to talk to her before she left for her vacation. Her reaction to Dylan’s thanks on the dvd was that of someone still struggling with her feelings. It was obvious she was still in love with Dylan. Helena then has sex with Raquel and all of a sudden she realize she’s in love with this woman and want to make their relationship work when all through out her vacation she couldn’t stop thinking about Dylan. I felt Helena never grew in this story. She was always running and never really dealt with her demons. IMHO Helena loved Raquel but wasn’t in love with her….Raquel was her escape from Dylan. The second ending was more plausible for me because base on Raquel’s personality and pride I don’t think she would have wanted to be with Helena knowing that she was still struggling with her love for someone else.
Hey Retroboogie, thanks for catching up….I missed your comments….I appreciate the comment…I guess if you believe Helena would hold on to a two year old love that crushed her, that she reconnected with for one night over a new person who she has spend substantial amount of time with over the past few months, gotten close to her and her family, who is supportive of her unreconciled feelings about the ex that destroyed her, who is encouraging her to resolve the issue, who makes love intimitely to her when she thinks she is about to lose to her to the ex. I guess if you believe Helena getting over Dylan for someone new who loves her is no growth on Helena’s part, then I can see your point…I think Helena rushing back to Dylan under the circumstance is truly no growth on her part. If I failed to show how Helena would have decided to move on beyond Dylan and that the relationship between Raquel and Helena was more than a one night stand then all of a sudden in love then that’s my failure.I did try to develop the relationship between Raquel and Helena and I think in another comment I mentioned Dylan’s time with Helena has been pretty limited in this story and with Raquel substantial. I actually reqret writing that line “I miss you” when Helena called Dylan because it certainly is very weighty. But in the story time line its 2-3 weeks later and Raquel and Helena have been together almost constantly. I think there is enough going on between the two to help Helena move on past Dylan for the first time. That is the point of the ending A. If I didn’t write it clear enough then.. my bad. I think Helena has grown enough to move on. IMHO
I will not be swayed…I will not be swayed. Oh, alright. I was swayed! Darn Raquel. She’s quite the woman… if only Dylan wasn’t out there. I know, I’m a hopeless. Thanks, Squirl
Hmmmm…well I don’t see Raquel as a quitter, she was the one that spoke of no entanglements from the start, but at the very least Helena needs to sort things out one way or another with Dylan. And it’s good that for starters she’s realized that she overreacted regarding the assistant and that simply because Dylan didn’t discuss her in the limited time Helena allowed her that it amounted to a deception. So let’s see how this works out once Helena deals with things rather than running in fear.