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Reflections – Chapter 19
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David also refused to support Bette’s petition for second parent adoption of his cousin Angelica saying that he didn’t believe in gay adoptions. He thought that children were better served if raised in ‘a normal home environment’ with a mother and father.
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Though Bette never wanted for female companionship she did lack prowess and experienced the most insecurity in sexual love relationships. She’d built a fortress around her heart to never let anyone get too close. She was alpha Bette in the bedroom much like she was in the boardroom but soon realized that the same characteristics that had served her so well in the professional world would ultimately doom her couple relationships to failure.
She often found herself being short and ill-tempered with her partners. She didn’t take time to listen to their viewpoints and often thought to herself that it was pointless. In her opinion they were idiots and the only right way was her way. She was sometimes competitive with them or issued commands instead of fostering equal partnerships. She could be very critical and hurtful but she saw it more as being honest and upfront about who and what she was.
She’d found that passive women would agree with her even when they felt differently but this behavior led to a tendency for the mate to feel dominated. In Bette’s view they bored her because they couldn’t meet her strength and power. If they didn’t challenge her the partnerships were lifeless but to the contrary when she found herself in a relationship with another alpha female they fought constantly. In either case she wasn’t able to sustain anything long-term or meaningful. Even though she’d convinced herself that she was living her life on her own terms she still wasn’t happy.
Bette was never disrespectful or degrading to her lovers. Although she played the field she prided herself in trying to live by a moral code of ethics. She never used sex, her position or money to coerce anyone’s affection. It could be said that she was sometimes sexually indiscriminate but she never knowingly exploited anyone nor hurt someone else purely for the pursuit of sexual gratification. She’d didn’t have affairs with married people and she stayed clear of straight women especially those with boyfriends. That is of course until she met Tina Kennard.
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Thank Bat, this story is a pleasant surprise.
I’m going out to the airport, and when I return I will
read with all the attention this story deserves.
The complete constellation.
Bear hug.
Great to read about their backgrounds and Pauls reflection about them.
The need to forgive themselfs and each other before they can rebuild to a healthy and strong relationship, respect each other and equal footing based on mutual trust.
Thanks for the update!
Hey Bat, thanks for giving us some of Tina’s background, something I really would have liked to hear about on The L Word, as well as some more information about Bette’s mother. At least on the show we got to know a lot about Kit and we were even introduced to Melvin, but we never got any information about Tina’s family. Knowing about someone’s background and how they were brought up often helps to understand better why they are behaving the way they do.
Again thank you for taking the time to re-post this extraordinary story and I am looking forward to your next post.
Though BETTE did cheat on TINA her actions afterwards shows she deeply regretted the hurt she had caused yet from TINA’s viewpoint what BETTE did was exactly like her father ,the only differance being she left then rather than later like her mother.BETTE was truthful up to that point and TINA was passive up to the point where she struck BETTE.Can the past readily be forgotten ,no but heres hoping they can turn that pain into a dull ache.thanks
So enjoying this story. Love the background info especially on Tina. Thanks
Thanks Bat!
You did Tina and Bette a perfect summary of their origins.
Now is to continue their conversation line, ask for forgiveness and to forgive,
for them to find their way around.
The entire constellation.
this little text that I love,of a local journalist.
“Forgive and Ask Forgiveness Is A Virtue Of Strong and Courageous”
Of all the lessons that we must learn in this life, surely forgive is the hardest of them.
Truly forgive someone is an act of love that makes a world of good especially the one who forgives, because grows and is strengthened spiritually and is freed from the shackles of hatred to live the joy of love. On the other hand, sincerely ask for forgiveness is a gesture of humility, showing courage, good character and greatness of mind of someone worthy of another chance to continue in peace
their learning of life.