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Reflections – Chapter 19
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Before Tina Bette mostly had one-night stands and short-term tryst that never went beyond a few dates. She didn’t do relationships because she couldn’t give herself fully to it. She wasn’t interested in anything long-term or binding. The last thing on her agenda when she was in her twenties was committing to one woman in a monogamous long-term partnership or having a family. She was focused on career, making a name for myself in the art world and having a good time. She didn’t see herself as marriage material; hell her longest dating relationship was with Alice and they only lasted six weeks. Alice didn’t understand it at the time but Bette actually did them both a favor by not letting it go any further sparing Alice the eventual heartbreak. That was her modus-operandi and it worked well for her until the irresistible Tina Kennard came along and turned her world upside down.
Bette changed who she was in order to become who she thought Tina wanted her to be. She broke all the rules including the one about getting involved with straight women. Had she held to her beliefs, her convictions, her sense of self and her value system she would never have pursued Tina like she did. Her reaction and attraction to Tina was something she’d never experienced before. She fell in love for the first time.
***
Needless to say all the turmoil in her early childhood affected Bette. She’d learned early on that she couldn’t count on anyone to stay, so she usually left first. Her biggest fear was of being left alone; lonely; no family; no friends; no love to call her own. When she cheated on Tina the fear became very real. Not only had she risked her love, but also her daughter and her friends. Bette was trying to salvage her relationship and was forging a co-parent partnership with Tina when she found out that her father was terminally ill with prostate cancer.
Over the years she’d become the center of his world. Although he was a hard man to please she did manage to garner his pride in her academic achievements and professional accomplishments. He supported her artistic endeavors and cultivated her passion for art. It was the only influence from her mother that he did not try to obliterate. Bette was loyal to her father to the very end even as he lay on his death bed condemning her lifestyle choices. He could never accept her sexual orientation and love for women nor did he recognize Tina as the love of her life.
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Thank Bat, this story is a pleasant surprise.
I’m going out to the airport, and when I return I will
read with all the attention this story deserves.
The complete constellation.
Bear hug.
Great to read about their backgrounds and Pauls reflection about them.
The need to forgive themselfs and each other before they can rebuild to a healthy and strong relationship, respect each other and equal footing based on mutual trust.
Thanks for the update!
Hey Bat, thanks for giving us some of Tina’s background, something I really would have liked to hear about on The L Word, as well as some more information about Bette’s mother. At least on the show we got to know a lot about Kit and we were even introduced to Melvin, but we never got any information about Tina’s family. Knowing about someone’s background and how they were brought up often helps to understand better why they are behaving the way they do.
Again thank you for taking the time to re-post this extraordinary story and I am looking forward to your next post.
Though BETTE did cheat on TINA her actions afterwards shows she deeply regretted the hurt she had caused yet from TINA’s viewpoint what BETTE did was exactly like her father ,the only differance being she left then rather than later like her mother.BETTE was truthful up to that point and TINA was passive up to the point where she struck BETTE.Can the past readily be forgotten ,no but heres hoping they can turn that pain into a dull ache.thanks
So enjoying this story. Love the background info especially on Tina. Thanks
Thanks Bat!
You did Tina and Bette a perfect summary of their origins.
Now is to continue their conversation line, ask for forgiveness and to forgive,
for them to find their way around.
The entire constellation.
this little text that I love,of a local journalist.
“Forgive and Ask Forgiveness Is A Virtue Of Strong and Courageous”
Of all the lessons that we must learn in this life, surely forgive is the hardest of them.
Truly forgive someone is an act of love that makes a world of good especially the one who forgives, because grows and is strengthened spiritually and is freed from the shackles of hatred to live the joy of love. On the other hand, sincerely ask for forgiveness is a gesture of humility, showing courage, good character and greatness of mind of someone worthy of another chance to continue in peace
their learning of life.