“He started coming home later and later. Sometimes he didn’t come home at all. She… she stopped playing her music, slapping me hard once or twice when I tried to play some to get her to sing. To get her to dance. The house got so quiet, Tee. The sun stayed away, the walls were full of shadows that leapt at me and scared me. Her slaps got harder; I was underfoot too much she would say. Once she hit me so hard that I…I… then Kit started making sandwiches for us to eat in her bedroom so that we would be out of her way.”

She sniffed and shook her head as if to bring herself out of a daze then glanced up at Tina.

“What happened then Baby?” Tina whispered, wanting to know more. She couldn’t help herself.
Bette’s voice was cold, sharp. “He was cheating on her Tina. He was fucking her best friend and my piano teacher and who knows who else. And she stopped dancing and singing, and she left him. She left me. I did not know about the affairs until later, and then Kit left … she left me too at that point”.

Tina swallowed.

“I see it now, Tee. I see how like him I am…it is so clear. I am destructive, I am compelled to ruin anything that is good in my life. Including us…I came so close… She left, Tee. She left because I was in the way, she left because of me…” Bette put her head in her hands, pulling away from Tina as she began to cry in earnest.

Tina pulled her back to her chest and held her there. She rocked her and held her. She cried too, cried for a younger Bette and the sad journey that shaped the beautiful woman in her arms. She didn’t try to quiet Bette or diminish what she said, she simply was there to help absorb the hurt. They had not mourned the loss of their early relationship together, not yet.

When Bette’s tears had slowed and the sniffling came, Tina handed her a napkin and gently, ever so gently, lifted her chin with her hand. She kept her hand on Bette’s chin, and looked deep into her eyes.