Heading to the kitchen in our standard formation. The little guy in the middle, Carm on the left me on the right. John and Miriam are tearing into a pizza box. They seemed relived to see us smiling and holding hands.

“You gals look well, did you figure it all out?” John asks.

“I think we did…” Carm says.

“Well let me tell you something about marriage. It’s a road of twists and turns, detours, shortcuts, stalled vehicles. Somehow you have to navigate your way through the wreckage.” Miriam says.

“We are not married.” Carm says looking at me like maybe we should be.

“Oh yes you are. Look at you two glowing. Not married in the traditional sense no, but you have vows, you already worked out the death due us part…..part. All you need is some kind of token….then it will be official.” Miriam says.

Married? Was I married to Carmen? Shit. I guess I am. Fuck it. A plan was forming in my head.

We sit. We eat. Marco has sauce on his face and clothes and hands and hair. The little guy still had problems getting the food to his mouth. I didn’t say much at dinner. I never do. I always ate alone or with Mark and we never talked while we ate. Not talking at dinner gives me the time to wonder about things. Which is all I do any fucking way, so wondering about the irony of life? I had no family for the longest time. And within a year, I had grandparents, the possibility of a wife and a kid. All in the most strange of circumstances.

Family I learned does not always mean blood. It’s lives connecting, sharing meals, giving advice. And the scowling because they could see that Carmen was rubbing her toes on my leg under the table.

Marco climbs over to sit on my lap. He leans his little head on my shoulder he was tired. I motion to Carm that I was going to put him to sleep. Walking back to his room, putting him down, taking off his little sneakers. I sit and watch him sleep. His little chest puffing up and down. Drool sliding of his cheek. I get a whipey and clean him up a bit. I look at his tiny hands, tiny feet, how small he is in proportion to me. I was a kid like this. Mom and Pop probably had a moment like this. Back before everything went wrong with them. They had this awesome moment, this realization that this little person needs you probably more than anyone.