CHAPTER 1

You know that people think you’re stupid.

You know that if you weren’t a brunette, people would eagerly stamp you as a dumb blonde.

You don’t necessarily agree, but you’ve long since given up trying to disagree with them or prove them otherwise. The truth is, you don’t really care what people think about you anymore. You don’t understand why you should – it’s your life after all and as long as the people you love treat you well, you’re fine.

Not everyone can be like Bette. Not everyone can understand that you’re not dumb or stupid, but that your brain just works in a different way. That won’t change, no matter how many doctors or psychologists you see.

You love Bette.

Bette has a tough exterior, but you know that the reality is that she’s just so scared that someone will see right through her that she bites before she can get bitten. You feel proud to know the Bette inside. The Bette inside is fiercely loyal and protective, a bit of a history nerd, funny and intelligent and although she’d sooner kill herself than admit it, also kind of sweet. You wish she’d show this side more to people. The side of her that is capable of feeling such overwhelming love it makes her act like a middle schooler with a crush.

Something feels funny in your chest each time you are reminded that that love isn’t directed at you, but at her. No matter how many times you kiss Bette, no matter how many orgasms you give her, it will always be her – Tina Kennard.

You see the way she looks at Tina. That longing in her eyes, so deep that it pains you as well. You would do anything to take it away, to make her see that if Tina doesn’t love her back she’s an idiot, that she deserves better than to pine after a girl that she may well never get. Because, let’s face it, even on the off chance that Tina is gay, hell will freeze over before she will give in to those feelings.

You see the anger in her eyes when Tina is walking around with some guy on her arm, looking happy as ever. You’ll never forget how empty her eyes were when she heard the news that Tina was pregnant. You’ll never forget that she closed herself into her bedroom for a week and cried. You’ll never forget the pure and utter hatred in her eyes whenever she saw Josh, because with that impeccable intuition of hers, she always knew it couldn’t be Eric’s. You’ll never forget how she kept on hitting and kicking him left, right and center, even though her knuckles were bleeding. You’ll never forget the tears streaming down her face.