But then the next morning you see her and she gives you that small smile and it’s all gone. You’re back to wanting desperately to tuck that loose strand of hair behind her ear and kiss her. Show her how much she is loved. You’re back to mentally crawling at her fucking feet.

You have written anonymous letters to her in the past. Confessions of your love shoved in her locker, in a handwriting that is not yours. Then you chickened out and retracted it (you know her locker combination from staring at her so often, but you’ve never used this knowledge for anything else), fearing she might think a guy is after her. You can’t stand the thought that she would attribute your genuine feelings to an unworthy creature.

You often feel like a pathetic mess, the way everything in your life, in your world revolves around her. The way that little wave of hers has you so intensely focused on her. The way it makes you want to pin her against those lockers and fuck her brains out, and how it clashes so irrevocably with the desire to make soft, slow and sweet love to her.

Dana tells you that she heard Coach Strauss tell Tina that she needs to step up her game if she doesn’t want to lose her spot as Captain to Bette. You want to rip Coach Strauss apart.

Tina’s currently dating Liam and you hate him with a blind passion. You refuse to listen to the rational part of you that tells you he’s a decent guy and that you should be glad that Tina’s dating him and not some retarded asshole.

Of course he’s decent. Tina’s moved passed retarded assholes now. My girl is smart enough.

It doesn’t stop you from wanting to kill him, painfully and slowly, for holding her hand and putting a smile on her face (even if the smile doesn’t quite seem to reach her eyes). That is your goddamn job.

One night, you’re sitting on your window sill, your legs dangling outside. You’re looking out at the sky and wondering what the point of your entire fucking life is if you can’t be with her. If you can only adore her from afar, if you can only touch her face in your dreams.