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Memo: Lyrics in the middle are from "Reoffender" (Travis)

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Previous disclaimer still applies
Rating: R for this second part

PART 2

I don’t really know how she can do that. How she can hold me tightly in this moment of desperation, in this tragic moment full of angst and disappointment. If I wasn’t talking about Carmen, I’d say she’s consoling me only because she feels relieved, or maybe because of pity.
But she is Carmen – and there’s not only relief and compassion in her embrace – compassion meant as a sharing of my pain. Her hug is like the sun after spending a long night buried in ice. Her hug is full of love and of a desperate, stubborn desire to understand me right to the bones.
She is like a child who’s courageous enough to enter and explore a dark, frightening cellar. Obviously, that dark and frightening cellar would be me.
And right now, maybe for the very first time, I really understand how much I am in love with her and I see clearly all the reasons why I love her. Right now I understand that taking that bus would have meant giving away my first, my greatest chance to be a happy person.
Enveloped in this hug, I finally understand how Carmen has always fought for me, for giving me what I’ve never had.
And that, right now, she is giving is the ultimate acceptance.

“You and me meant to be immutable, impossible… It’s destiny, pure lunacy… Incalculable, insufferable. And for the last time, you’re everything that I want and ask for… You’re all that I crave”.

**

And right now all the reasons why I’m in love with Shane crash on me like a huge wave. All the emptiness I was feeling suddenly disappears, even if we’re trembling and shaking, both of us, even if our faces are so numb with cold that every tear feels like burning lava.
Shane is strong, and so weak at the same time. Right from the start I loved her strength, the coolness she faces life with, the innate class she deals everything crosses her path with. And now I perfectly see all the weakness hidden behind that solid, unreadable façade. I see her insecurity – “can I be really loved?” -, I see her anguish – “how will I end?” -, I see her lack of self-confidence – “there’s nothing I can give, there’s nothing to see anyway” -, I see her fear – “I got to hide, I can’t stand anymore this”.
I see everything and I love everything. Everything about her. I love her. So different from what I am, and at the same time so complementary.