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“Well I called your agent to get a hold of you and she was kind of apprehensive about me calling you so… I sort of lied to her in order to get the information I needed.”

“I know you told her Alice was in a car accident.” Bette said sitting back and crossing her arms.

“That was not entirely a lie though.”

“She grazed a fence trying to change the song on her ipod Tina, I would hardly call that an emergency.” Bette looked at tina and saw that her body was a tense ball as usual and she almost felt bad for her. “What do you want Tina?”

“I want…I… I want to give you the apology that you deserve. But not until you hear me out. And after that… I don’t know, I’m hoping that you’re going to write the ending to this story.” she stopped her eyes from wandering all around the room and looked Bette directly in the face for the first time since she acknowledged her presence.

“Do you want a pen or something?” Bette kept her focus on Tina’s hands they were becoming a real distraction.

“What?” tina was caught off guard by the outside question.

“You usually stop fidgeting when you have a pen or something in your hands.” she said sliding one across the table towards Tina.

“Thank you.” she said picking up the pen and immediately squeezing it and flipping it through her fingers. Her focus was drawn towards the ground she still couldn’t figure out why she didn’t know where to start. “Do you know what vertigo is?”

“Are you feeling alright? If you need to sit down…” Bette said standing up immediately, but she was cut short by Tina.

“No, no, no, not a literal sense of the word. Fuck.” she said throwing her hand to her forehead feeling like her explanation now was on the cusp of slipping away. She drew a few deep breaths and started again, “Ok, what I mean is I was very dizzy for a long time. A whirlwind of emotions that I kept from myself and you. And this whole blown up tragedy is my fault.” she said looking into Bette’s eyes and feeling them soften on her. “I had so much resentment towards myself for not actually telling you what was going on inside of me and to find out about Justine just acted as a catalyst for me to push you further away from me. I know you really were in a tight space with her infidelities and your feelings for me. I’m sorry you ever had to be in that position.” Tina said now moving over towards the window, needing to have a little more distance between her and Bette. Her proximity was making this apology very hard and she was doing her best to remember each key point she felt she needed to apologize for.