“Momma everything I do is for this family, I’m trying to provide for them. They need a lot of stuff.”

“And it’s just that Tina; stuff. None of it is important if you’re not their to enjoy it with them. You know that family would happily live in a one room shack with you.”

Tina laid back and let her tears fall without inhibition. She knew her mother was right, she wanted to see her babies grow up and she wanted to see their personalities develop and thrive. She never wanted to be the type of person who only interacted with her kids when it suited her schedule, but she could slowly see herself becoming this person. It was causing her snap at the littlest things and set unrealistic goals for the people around and in her life.

　

…………………………………….

　

Bette closed the door to her house and the smell of cleaning supplies hit her first. Obviously Tina had been cleaning all day, something she use to do when she was frustrated and didn’t know what to do with herself. The living room was spotless and so was the kitchen and the dining room. She started down the hallway towards their bedroom when she got a glimpse of the twins’ bedroom. It was all spic-and-span, the toys were put away and the beds were made, she’d even taken down the curtains in the room and it was saturated with sunlight.

Tina came out of the bathroom with yellow gloves on, a sponge in one hand and a bottle of Tilex in the other. Bette looked at her and she knew Tina was trying to run herself until she hit empty. Neither knew what to say to the other and the air was to heavy with angst.

“Hi.” Tina said and flipped a stray lock of hair out of her face.

“Hi.” Bette said and tucked her keys into her pocket. She didn’t want to look at Tina but she couldn’t help it her eyes were locked onto hers and she didn’t know if she would be able to look away first. Tina took the first step towards Bette, she wanted to grab her and kiss her and apologize endlessly if necessary all to allow herself to break down the way she knew her heart wanted her to but she couldn’t. She had to keep moving, she had to do something to keep herself up and busy.