Tina’s breathing was labored and she couldn’t keep her hands steady despite Justine’s grip. Her mind was trying to connect the speech to the realization of the moment but it wasn’t happening.

“I’m still the same piece of shit from college. I haven’t changed a day in my life. Baby I tried I really did, I stopped myself from indulging in the things that I knew I could get away with despite the lack of help from Bette…”

That name threw everything into stereo for Tina. She felt a rush of cold air run down her back and the picture in her mind became clear and steady. All the sudden dinner cancellations, the impromptu best friend’s night out, Bette just so happened to show up at the bar Justine cancelled at, or her personal favorite girls night in. They all played out like a movie before her, the laughs, the tears, the smiles, the good night embraces, frame by frame each one clutched a little piece of her heart. She stood up immediately and looked down on Justine in total disbelief.

“Wait, wait stop! What do you mean despite the lack of help from Bette? Are you saying that she knew about you and…. So she knew you were… When did…” Tina bawled over in pain the stinging agony of the realization all resided deep within her stomach and she felt everything coming to ahead. “Oh God, Oh God?!” she screamed as she clutched the back of a chair for balance and clutched her mouth to silence the words that were racing from her brain straight to her lips. “How could you do this to me, to us?”

“God Tina I never meant for shit to happen like this, I” Tina interrupted her with a swift hand she threw in the air to halt any cliché line she was about to throw at this disaster. It was the silence that seemed like that loudest thing tina could hear, the huffs or air coming from justine, the unsteady thumping of her heart, the conversations of school kids walking by, and the consistent sound of cars passing by, were intensified tenfold.

“When did you… did you… umm,” Tina shook her head trying to get the words loose. But every time she closed her eyes the only thing she saw were flashes of Bette.

“That doesn’t matter Tina.”

“It fucking matters to me.” she said through clenched teeth.

“What do you want Tina? Dates? Times? Names? What is it that you want me to say?”

“When?”

Justine looked at a defeated and emotionally beaten Tina. She tried to answer as best she could, “A few years back.”

Tina’s eyes closed automatically at Justine’s answer and a wave of pain washed through her body, “No, how long has Bette been covering for you, you fucking piece of shit?!” Tina said with malice and disdain hanging on every syllable.

“A few months. She found out and I told her I was going to stop. But I couldn’t, I don’t know why…”

Tina could hear Justine talking, she could even see her lips moving but everything seemed like static coming from her. The only voice that played through her mind was the soft voice of her “friend”, telling her “Good night T” , “Well Jus couldn‘t make it so she sent me.” “Yeah, I was supposed to meet a client here for drinks.” “I love you T”. the laugh that was always so entrancing was now playing in a loop almost like mockery.

“Shut up. Just shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear some thoughtless excuse you just came up with. The truth is you didn’t want to stop, you never did.” Tina regrouped, took one final look at Justine and walked away before she broke down into tears. She used the side of the couch to lean against as she grabbed her keys and purse and once again her eyes were drawn to her storage area bill.

“Tina,” she didn’t stop her progress. “Tina where are you going?”

She stopped with her tear stained face fighting to hold onto the only strength she had to stand, she turned and said “To see a friend!”

TBC………………………………..