‘What are you thinking about?’ asked Helena as they lay in the hammock together on the beach, enjoying freshly prepared pina coladas.

‘About all the things I have to sort out when I get back,’ Alexa admitted.  She had to catch a plane tomorrow, back to the real world.

Helena propped herself on her elbow to look down at Alexa.  ‘Are you still planning to tell your friends and family about us?’ she asked curiously.

Alexa nodded, ‘Of course.  I have to.  I’m moving here to be with you,’ She made it sound like the easier thing in the world but Alexa knew she was about to have some of the hardest conversations of her life in the coming weeks.

Helena watched Alexa’s inner conflict, wondering why it had been so much easier for her to be honest about her sexuality than it was for Alexa.  Perhaps it was where she lived or the different ways they’d been brought up. Helena had been grateful for a reason to rebel against her mother, had embraced her alternative lifestyle, not caring most of the time what other people thought but then Alexa was used to being the prodigal daughter, who hated to disappoint.

‘Do you wish that I was a man Alexa?’ Helena asked suddenly.

‘What?’ asked Alexa, scrunching up her nose at the thought.  ‘Eww..Did I not make it clear to you that the L-word applies to me?’

‘Yes’ Helena said.  ‘What I mean is do you wish that you weren’t gay? That you could tell your family that you’d met this man in L.A, someone you could be proud of.’

‘Helena I am proud to be with you,’ she insisted. 

‘I know, I know,’ she said changing tact.  ‘Forget me.  I mean do you wish that you weren’t a lesbian?’

Alexa put her hands behind her head and thought.  ‘I’ll admit there have been times in my life when I’ve thought that way.  I used to think being gay was this massive curse but recently I’ve started to feel like maybe it’s a gift too.’

‘A gift?’ Helena asked.

‘Yes because we get a unique perspective not many people have.  We get to know what it’s like to be a woman as well as be in love with one.  When I’m with you and your friends I feel like we’re all in on this big secret that straight people won’t ever understand and instead of feeling sorry for myself I kind of feel sorry for them.  I mean the thought of waking up tomorrow and not loving you, not seeing the true beauty in your body and soul just is unimaginable to me Helena.’