Alexa seethed.  ‘Because you’re paranoid Helena!  You want everything right now!  This is my life we’re talking about.  These are people I have spent five years of my life with and I’m leaving everything to be with you, the friendships I’ve built, the job I’ve worked hard for..’

Helena felt the statement like a kick in the stomach.  ‘You’re right Alexa I’m asking too much.  Forgive me for thinking out holiday romance was anything more than it was!’ she said and put down the phone.

Helena threw her phone across the room, letting it slam duck into the bin.  She felt angry but already regret was starting to creep in.  She didn’t want to break up with Alexa.  She’d broken up with her because she wanted her so much, what sort of fucked up logic was that?  Helena Peabody wasn’t used to things she loved being out of her control.  She went to grab her phone out of the bin and call Alexa back but the screen was smashed.

‘Fuck!’ said Helena, wondering if this was the only thing she’d broken beyond repair.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Alexa cried all through her shower but got herself together enough to dress for dinner.  Conversation was minimal, each girl lost in her own thoughts. 

‘Are you ok Alexa?’ asked Rachel.

Alexa realised if Helena really meant what she said then her confession wasn’t required at all but her heart was breaking and whatever the cost she wanted a chance to share that with her best friend.

‘I’ve been seeing someone Rachel,’ said Alexa.  ‘I’ve been seeing Helena Peabody and I think she just broke up with me.’

Alexa let her tears fall.  She couldn’t believe she was saying it this way.  This wasn’t the way this speech was supposed to go.  She wasn’t even a crier.

Rachel picked up her jaw carefully from the table.  ‘You’re kidding me right?  Helena Peabody, that rich lecturer?  That female lecturer?’

‘Yeah your best friend is a big lesbian, time to freak out,’ Alexa said bitterly.

Rachel was freaking out, to hear the actual words but putting it all together she couldn’t deny there had been signs.  She didn’t really know any lesbians, or at least she had thought she didn’t.  She used to think if a friend had come out to her she’d be uncomfortable around them but this was Alexa, she knew Alexa better than anyone, it was impossible to change her feelings towards her.  Alexa looked heartbroken and Rachel fought for the right words.