I wasn’t worthy of this place, this home I found myself in. I had called it my home since the moment Cadie and I got together, the moment that I fell deep into her eyes and let her into my little world. It was selfish, dragging her down to the level of a freak like me, expecting she would stay with me, but I couldn’t see past her eyes. I really tried to be better: grew my hair out the way she liked it, put on makeup to see her smile. I changed everything just to hear her call me beautiful. And it worked, I was normal for the first time and they kept me around. No more bouncing between homes every few months. No more group homes or shelters. No more fear at the sounds of beer bottles smashing and the anger of people who only kept me around for the monthly cheque.

I finally had everything I ever wanted and all I needed to do was pretend. Stay within their boundaries, become someone they could be comfortable around. It took a while to stop feeling like a liar every time I spoke, to stop feeling guilty about hiding myself from them, but then came Cadie and she made it all so very easy. Suddenly everything was worth it with her as my reward. Play by their rules and I got a home and a family and a girl to love.

‘I guess I fucked that one up’ I laughed quietly to my self. It was kind of funny after all, how much I had sabotaged the only good thing to happen to me.

Shaking my head clear, I pulled the zip of the bag closed and threw the strap over my shoulder. Walking to the bathroom, I made a quick attempt to clean myself up. The first morning I’d washed off the blood and dirt from my face in the bathroom of the local burger joint so my face wasn’t that bad. My hair was a mess though; my head had bled when it was smashed against the wall, and I hadn’t had a chance to wash it out yet. I ran it under the tap in the basin and combed it out quickly, careful to listen out for Jack’s return. I tied my hair in a ponytail and walked out into the hall, coming to a stop in front of Cadie’s door