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    So far apart

    “I’m not sure. I need to talk to Josh tomorrow.”

    “Josh Becker … the guy you were supposed to meet tonight?”

    “Yeah … he’s the producer. We talk about once a week. He’s really great and he’s going to produce an amazing film. I can just feel it.”

    “It sounds as if you really like him.”

    “I do. He’s smart and funny and he gets me you know. He understands where I’m coming from.”

    “Well I hope we can work out the schedules because I really need this time to regroup Tina; not only for myself but I want to be a better person for you, and Angie and Kit and the rest of our family. However I still think working on self goes hand in hand with working on ‘us’ at least on some level. We’ve been so focused on parenting that we’ve ignored the ’couple’ part of our relationship to where we’ve been operating on two different axes since we got back together.”

    “Bette I understand what you’re saying. I agree with you but maybe this separation will be good for both of us to just figure out what we really want for ourselves and what we need.”

    “I thought we wanted the same things Tina; a loving family with our daughter.”

    “We do but maybe co-parenting is all that means for us. Maybe we rushed into trying to be a couple again before we were ready.”

    “Tina in case you haven’t noticed we’re not a ‘couple’ in any sense of the word right now. We’re two mom’s raising our daughter. We might as well be roommates when you consider the level of intimacy between us, and I’m not just talking about our non-existent sex life. We’re practically living two separate lives. Every now and then we clash when we get our signals crossed or someone’s schedule changes. Otherwise we just go through the day with total disregard for one another. I don’t know about you but that’s not what I want from a life-partner. If all I am to you is Angie’s mom then let’s be clear about that before I even leave on the retreat. I’ve got to make some important decisions. I can’t do that without clarity about our situation. The status of our relationship plays a major part and can make a hell of a difference on the decisions regarding our future.”

    Comments

    1. Trying to live your life for or thru someone is pointless if you are the only one trying.BETTE should not allow TINA to treat her this way and to belittle her is way over the top.DANA/LARA opposites whereas they are going into unchartered waters and anger is the one emotion DANA clutches like its a life raft.Sad scenes all the way around.

      • dunnthat, thanks for being the first to comment. I named this chapter ‘so far apart’ because Bette and Tina are not even on the same planet right now. As painful as it is Bette will realize soon enough that she can’t fix things between them while Tina has no desire to even try, They are on different paths to self-discovery. They need to complete their individual journeys before they can even begin to be a couple again. Dana’s anger and treatment of Lara will be a test of their strength as a couple but at least their foundation is solid and can withstand more.

    2. A late start for me today – ‘life’ getting in the way again !

      This post is so well considered and written BAT, thank you. I wish I had read something like this 20 years ago !

      Well on to the next post, as you see, still reading :)

    3. I like that you have Bette voice her thoughts and clearly adresses the issues she thinks they have to work on..
      At least Tina is thinking about Bette’s words and is starting to analyse her own reactions.
      And now to the next part … :)

    4. The certainty for harmony and duration of any relationship is respect for individuality. Love is not to cancel each other. You must maintain a routine in which their wishes, the “I” of each stay alive. But when that individuality is bordered by negligence, is a sign that something is not right in relação.E this is happening to our couple.
      The complete constellation.

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