“We were just talking about random things and somehow, Lara came up. Dana felt bad about how she treated her but it was like she couldn’t have her around while she was sick because she was afraid Lara only wanted her if she was whole. She said that it was her own fault for not letting her in fully, but she was never going to let any body get that close to her again; it hurt too much.” Shane dips her head in close to me, so that no one could possibly overhear. “She was only in love once and she said she ruined it. After that, she got kind of quiet and changed the subject.”

“Oh my god,” I whisper, tears forming in my eyes. “She really said that?”

Shane nodded. “I didn’t tell you, I didn’t think it was my business to get involved but for two smart women, you guys are being really fucking stupid.”

I laugh, wiping my eyes. “I know that, I do, but how do we fix it? Maybe we can’t.”

“Of course you can,” she reasons. “Look, Al, being scared isn’t a good reason not to love someone,” she steals a glance across the deck at Carmen. “Things happen every day. Her cancer could come back but you could also walk outside and get hit by a truck. You just don’t know. Not that I’m the best person to take advice from, but I learned the hard way that if you wait for the right moment to tell someone how you feel, you could be waiting a really long time. Possibly forever.”

“What if we do manage to work things out and I lose her? For good this time.”

“You have to stop using her cancer as an excuse for not telling her how you feel.” she bites her lip. “Both of you. It’s so incredibly obvious how much the two of you still love each other. It’s also obvious that neither of you are doing anything about it because you’re both really scared of hurting the other person.”

When the hell did Shane become the Dr. Phil of relationships? It’s a little unnerving, to be honest.

“So what? Am I supposed to just randomly blurt it out? Hey, Dana, could you pass the mashed potatoes, by the way, I’m still in love with you?”