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Starting Over (16)
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Tina put her head in her hands for a few minutes and then sat up tall. She decided that this was it. This was the defining moment of the second half of her life. This was it and she wasn’t going to hedge her bets. She was going to go after what she knew in heart was real and special. She had felt more passion and even love, and whether it was her imagination or not, loved in these past few weeks than ever before in her life.
‘Hell, I think I’d trade my marriage for just one kiss.’ ‘Am I really prepared to do that?’
Tina stared in off into a moment.
“Yes… yes I am”
I guess that’s my answer. Whether Bette is in or not, and please God, please let her have at least some feelings for me. I want more than I have now.
I have to do this my way, and that means I have to take care of Ellie, and be kind and loving toward Joe. I can do this, and do it right.
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Tina lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Even though Bette had insisted she take tomorrow off she knew that talking to Joe would not be easy and she really needed her sleep. She settled herself down and let her mind wander. She imagined that Bette was with her. Bette was touching her. First her hair, and then her neck and ohhh her breasts … and then … and then…kneeling between her legs. Touching her stomach and then ohhh…her thighs and oh god, Bette please…please….oh shit…ugh… . “I am so f—ing lame. Ughhhhhh
Tina curled her body around a pillow and finally fell asleep. In her dreams she was able to set herself free. She slept and smiled.
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Tina was floating in the land between being awake and asleep. She sensed the feel of the warmth of the sun on her face and images of Bette in her mind. She was relishing the feeling when she felt the feel of lips on her shoulder, the hand on her breast teasing and kneading. The hand on her thighs. Oh god. Her body responding, arching into the touch, aching for more. Her legs being parted. Tina moaned. “Oh baby, please…please…
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Whoa, whoa. Wait. I don’t think Tina’s the only one who felt what Joe just did wasn’t right. Seriously, what was that? Maybe I’m tired and just misreading it, but… what Joe just did, that was borderline assault. Can I just say that I’m glad she’s dumping his abusive ass? Serial cheating is bad enough, this is just… wrong. I know Tina is like, “removed” from his philandering or whatever, but whatever she feels or doesn’t feel for him doesn’t justify his behavior. And why is she comforting him? I dunno. I hope Tina sees what she’s been putting up with in a much clearer light once she gets some distance from the situation. I’m really rooting for Tina to find some honest happiness out of this once it’s all said and done. Thanks for posting, D&A.
I think I got hit on the head with a sledge hammer! I was all warm and fuzzy with Tina thinking about Bette, then the intimacy with Joe came from nowhere and BAM right between the eyes. I am still reeling. If that is what sex with her husband has been like for the last 18 years, she should run now and never look back. I actually flinched and unconsciously closed my legs. Dump the self-centered bum and go after your true love. Great story!
He did actually rape his wife but she was talking in her dream and he thought that the moans and the baby, baby was for him. She allowed it b/c she is a kind person but he abused her if not physically at least verbally/emotionally. Good riddance to him. It is difficult to flush 18 years down the drain w/o any discussion.
Wow! He couldn’t wake her up? I know that husbands have certain rights but at least let someone know about these rights. The way Tina handled that was very smooth, Joe’s loss will be Bette’s gain. I’m very happy that she broke things off with Joe-shmo before pursuing Bette.
Okay now I just read everyone’s comments and I have to say this if it were a woman was was waking their partner that they would you feel the same way? I have read many a L Word fanfic story where Tina or Bette woke eachother up that way and no one complained about it. What’s up?
That was so well written. Hard situation.
Awesome update a hard situation well written. Thank you :)
Tina did have to make a decision and Joe just helped her with that by raping her and call it what you will, it was definitely rape. He could have let her know he was in the house before taking her in that way. He felt that she had been seeing another man and he would just take what is his one more time. Bastard. Journey, the difference in Bette and Tina waking each other with love making the first thing in the morning is that they were living together and had been making love the night before. Joe has not spent that much time with his family, he has been spending his time in other people’s beds for months and years at a time with occasional visits home to his wife and family. He is a philandering ass and should be dumped. That is the great difference in Joe assaulting Tina and Bette and Tina surprising each other with love making first thing in the morning. This was a hard thing for Tina to do and I say kudo’s to her for having the guts to go thru with it and for dumping his behind. I don’t think she needs to tell him of her interest in Bette because ass that he is, I think he will give her a hard time, if not abuse her physically, and that will never do. He professed his love for her and if he loved her he wouldn’t have done what he just did and he wouldn’t have been having affairs for the past 20 yrs with no thought of stopping. It is NEVER harmless. His actions said he preferred someone else rather than his wife and the mother of his child. Now let’s let Tina go for the separation and talk to Bette. I think she might be surprised at Bette’s reacation because she doesn’t realize just how much Bette already cares for her. Thanks for posting DnA.
Tina did have to make a decision and Joe just helped her with that by raping her and call it what you will, it was definitely rape. He could have let her know he was in the house before taking her in that way. He felt that she had been seeing another man and he would just take what is his one more time. Bastard. Journey, the difference in Bette and Tina waking each other with love making the first thing in the morning is that they were living together and had been making love the night before. Joe has not spent that much time with his family, he has been spending his time in other people’s beds for months and years at a time with occasional visits home to his wife and family. He is a philandering ass and should be dumped. That is the great difference in Joe assaulting Tina and Bette and Tina surprising each other with love making first thing in the morning. This was a hard thing for Tina to do and I say kudo’s to her for having the guts to go thru with it and for dumping his behind. I don’t think she needs to tell him of her interest in Bette because ass that he is, I think he will give her a hard time, if not abuse her physically, and that will never do. He professed his love for her and if he loved her he wouldn’t have done what he just did and he wouldn’t have been having affairs for the past 20 yrs with no thought of stopping. It is NEVER harmless. His actions said he preferred someone else rather than his wife and the mother of his child. Now let’s let Tina go for the separation and talk to Bette. I think she might be surprised at Bette’s reacation because she doesn’t realize just how much Bette already cares for her. Thanks for posting DnA.
This is my favorite ‘current’ story :) I just love beginnings.
Just caught up on this one, great story D&A! I’m with Journey, it wasn’t what Tina expected in that moment, but it definitely didn’t read like rape to me and that’s not what Joe intended to do either. For all he knew Tina could’ve been dreaming about him =/ But she should still dump the cheater and find happiness with Bette :)
jp22 weird things like this do happen in a marriage. Believe me! Tina is doing everything the way it feels right for her, She wants to clear the page before she even tries with Bette, I find this dicent and very brave.
lodeerca, I know. And if you desire the other person, and have a good relationship with them, it’s a *really* lovely way to wake up… when you want it. :) But… I didn’t get the impression that it was what Tina wanted. After she realized what was happening, she just kind of lay there… and Joe certainly didn’t care. So it kind of came across as a bit of desperate territory-marking by Joe, in response to what she had discussed with him on the phone previously. I didn’t get love from that whole thing, but maybe his “love” for Tina makes him that desperate, and Tina’s “love” for him makes her accept the things he does and is willing to let him down gently. I dunno, I’m just glad she’s done with him… Good for Tina, though, that she’s being more than decent with him, but really, the dude’s a bit of an arsehole! Right, onwards then? Maybe now Tina’s getting a separate bedroom, she can lock the door so she can dream uninterrupted next time? ;) Hopefully it’s not long til she takes a chance with Bette and goes for making those dreams a reality. Again, thanks, D&A. More asap, I love these daily posts! :)
Thanks for the update. I’m glad Tina is following through with her feelings. I was reading the other posts here about Joe. The way I read it, Joe started touching and kissing Tina and misinterpreted Tina’s response to his initial touches as a positive reaction and a go ahead to take it further. I think he really does love her and he won’t do anything to prevent her from seeking what she needs even though he doesn’t want to lose her.
Oh Please, don’t let Tina get pregnant from 15 seconds of… whatever that was that Joe called himself doing. Hell, if that’s as long as he can last, Tina should have left his @$$ a long time ago. Ewwwwww! ok… NEXT!
Waoooooo that was intense yet sincere, truthfully deep and honest. He did not think things would have stayed the way it was, did he? PPVS
If that was how sex is with Joe, Tina definitely needs to leave! LOL
WOW!!!! That was a tough chapter to read. Now I hope Tina find it in herself to talk to Bette and very soon. Thank you PPS
I totally read this as Sammer did. If you come home from a trip, start kissing your wife’s back, and she starts responding, you’d probably think she was responding to you. Yes, it wasn’t necessarily the right assumption to make considering what they’d discussed, but I didn’t read it as rape AT ALL. And I’d imagine that, considering their rather unorthodox arrangement, this might be a fairly typical “Joe returns from his trips” scenario, since they’d both want to reassure each other that their marriage is surviving. I’m much more bothered by his actions after, which is a bit of a “closing the barn doors after the horse has left”. You’ve cheated on the woman for years, buddy. Whether or not she accepted it, you had to know that at some point, she’d figure out there’s more to life and love than a cheating husband. I get that you need somebody to “crave” you like Tina hasn’t, but cheating is cheating, and if you think it’s okay to sleep with someone because you don’t get that “craving” feeling from your wife, you gotta accept that she might want to “crave” someone else too.