Apparently, by the time I was born, three years later, she had already become somewhat reclusive.  My memories of my mother are somewhat wispy but always lovely.  She was delicate, but from what I remember she was, um, maybe a bit unwell. I mean like psychologically.  Well anyway, from what I have been able to piece together from my father, Kit, and some other relatives and family friends, she found out about an affair my father had when he was out of town on business and I guess she snapped.  Several weeks later she left.  Tina… she just left.”

 Bette looked at Tina with tears running down her cheeks.  Tina reached in and wiped Bette’s tears and pulled her in to a warm embrace.

“Baby, I am so sorry.  Babe if it’s too painful we can finish this another time.”

Bette gave Tina a weak smile.

“No Tina I’d like to finish.  I want you to know the rest.  Okay?”

“Oh course Baby.”

Bette took a deep breath.

“Well, to say that I was devastated would be an understatement.  I screamed and cried for my mother day and night.  My father was also a mess.  A couple of weeks later we got a letter from her.  She’d said she was sorry.  She said that she had started to forget things and that she couldn’t take the chance that she might have hurt me in some way if she stayed.  She begged for forgiveness.  I guess in some ways the letter helped a bit.  My father tried in vain to find her.  He always suspected that her family was helping her and he tried and tried to get them to give him some information, but they hated him and apparently weren’t too thrilled to have a biracial granddaughter, they wouldn’t help..

We didn’t hear from her for four years and then another letter came.  Tina…it was her farewell to me…Tina… it was her suicide note.”

Tina engulfed Bette in her arms and the women shared the pain of the unthinkable. 

_____________________________________

The women had fallen asleep holding each other.  About an hour had passed and Tina moved.  Bette opened her eyes and realized where she was.  She looked at her love and pulled her close.  Tina reached up in her sleep and pulled Bette close.  She gave Bette a slow passionate kiss.  Bette responded.  They made love on the couch and were holding each other tight when Tina jumped up.

“Bette, I almost forgot all about my surprise.  Wait here.  Oh, and close your eyes until I say it’s okay.  Okay?”

Bette nodded as she smiled at Tina scurrying around the room trying to find some clothes.  She bolted to the door, turned around and shook her finger at Bette and warned.

“Okay, you have to keep your eyes closed until I say so.  Okay?”

Bette nodded, smiled and closed her eyes.  She heard the door open and lots of banging around and a couple of minutes later, Tina yelled out.

“Okay, open your eyes.”

Bette opened her eyes and saw Tina standing in the middle of a sea of boxes and bags, wearing a Santa hat, lights wrapped around her neck, and balancing a huge Christmas tree.  Bette could feel the tears rolling down her face.  She had never seen anything cuter in her life and she had never felt more loved in her life than at that moment. 

Tina ran to Bette. 

“Babe, I am so sorry.  I really didn’t mean to upset you again.  I’m so sorry.”

Bette pulled Tina into her, picked her up, and twirled her around the room.

“Tina, these are tears of joy.  Tina, you brought me Christmas.  Oh God woman, do you have any idea how much I love you?”

Tina leaned down and gave Bette a big sloppy kiss and then said slyly.

“Not as much as I love you.”