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    Starting Over (50)

    Story written on December 15, 2009 by Dazed and Amused.
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    36 votes, average: 4.08 out of 536 votes, average: 4.08 out of 536 votes, average: 4.08 out of 536 votes, average: 4.08 out of 536 votes, average: 4.08 out of 5 (36 votes, average: 4.08 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 10
    Words: 2230
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=74693
    Author Notes:

    Working it out..

    Bette reached across the table and took Tina’s hands in hers and looked her in the eye.

    “T, do you know how much I love you…now?”

    “Baby, yes… it was like I had amnesia or something, but after you left last night I was kind of in a trance and numb, but  Alice came over and after like a minute it was like I was hit by a bolt of lightning, I know you would never do that to me, I know who you are and what we are, but Bette …I forgot and I was afraid to ask you for help…Baby I promise I will never do that again…I promise…”

    “T, I know…but I can’t help but wonder if this is… you know, connected to Joe’s cheating.”

    Tina winced but stayed steady.

    “Bette I spent all night trying to figure that out…it has to be connected, but I never felt so scared of losing Joe…I guess that was our biggest problem…but I guess I got to a place of fear and insecurity that I had never felt before…and then I tried to act like I used to feel…because Bette it didn’t really hurt then and 99% of the time I was fine, but Bette this …the thought of you betraying me like that…Bette I don’t think I could live through that…”

    “T…look at me…I’m not Joe…and I would never, ever hurt you like that…T I’m sorry you were going through this alone…Tina do you have any idea how much I love you?”

    “Baby I do, I really do…I just got lost and …I’ve never felt that way before and I …I tried to protect myself from the thought of the most unimaginable pain …and I …was a fucking asshole…”

    Bette let out a chuckle and raised her eyebrow to Tina.

    “Well can’t argue with that now can I?   Um, T…How do you think you’ll handle it …the next time I go away…?”

    “Baby, I don’t want to diminish this in any way, but I really think that this was some kind of surreal kind of ‘perfect storm’.  I’m not usually jealous.  I’m usually fairly confident, both in myself and our relationship and I really think that the ambiguity in our relationship right now all sort of came to a head right when you went on your first business trip away from me.  Believe me, I am not so naïve that I think that I won’t have these feelings again, as a matter fact, I’m pretty sure I will have these feelings in the future, I think it’s only natural given my girlfriend is the most gorgeous sexy woman on the planet but now I’ll know what it all the feelings mean.  I’ll know the consequences of not sharing my feelings with you and lashing out…Bette I can’t lose you…us…”

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    Comments

    5. If they want to move in together, then it really needs to be in a house that has nothing to do with Joe. It’s a nice house and all, I’m sure, but it’s got to go. There might be money lost if Tina sells her “dream house”, but so what? She needs to figure out what’s more important. She and Bette need to start over, in a house that they’ve picked together. The talk seems to have cleared some things up, though, so hopefully it doesn’t happen again. Thanks for posting D&A. :)

    7. So glad they’ve had their talk and seemingly have worked things out between them. However, Tina did say that she would probably have these feelings again but would know what to do. I wonder if she really will know what to do, the green-eyed monster is a dangerous thing to try to control. I agree that they need to find a place for them where no one else has lived with them. Since Tina is the real estate mogul, maybe she can lease the house for awhile until Bette is more cpmfortable with it. After all, Tina found the house and Joe hardly ever visited there, let alone lived there. So really it is just Tinas’ house. They should talk about the house situation and decide whether to move into one or the other of them, or something new. Great update. Thanks for posting.

    8. Thanks for the update. It appears that Tina is pretty much in touch with what she’s feeling and why. The fact that she didn’t sleep much all week probably heightened all of her fears and insecurities and contributed to her breakdown. I think as long as they keep communicating they’ll be okay. Now they need to plan their next step. Maybe a new house that they both choose.

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