Storm Watch 02.01

            It was morning she didn’t know if it was late, or early.  She just knew it was morning, the smell in the air was just right.  She stared at the ceiling above her; tracing the cracks in the plaster with her dark eyes.  Making haphazard patters with them as her mind wandered away from her, not delving on one topic to long, just free-floating.  Escaping the reality of this world, and relishing in the reality of one made of her own dreams and whims.

            Her body was physically worn out from the crying and lack of sleep; but her emotions, those were still running on high, even though she’d never felt so much pain, and betrayal in her life.  She didn’t feel emotionally drained, instead she felt emotionally charged with some sort of forbidden and hidden energy.  As if something in her psyche had been wedged open and forced to see the truth, the light of day.  The verity about her life about what had been her love.

            How she felt the pain in her heart, her very soul had been ripped to tatters in one faithful moment.  A stolen moment, between Bette and Candace, one that she wasn’t meant to see, but she had.  She’d been hurt before, been cheated on before, but this had been the ultimate betrayal, welcome to the Life of Tina Kennard. 

            The techno colored movie of the week; weep at the end of the movie folks, then tune in next week for a new installment.  She felt like she was looking down on her life, this empty ebony abyss, like a darkened TV screen.  Her world had been thrown into an insane tapestry of what she had once called her life.   Her reality had become an illusion, just like the one’s that played on TV.  Love, Life, Loss and Loneliness.  I loved Bette; she was my life, now I lost her and now I am utterly alone.

            She stood, letting the thick blanket fall to the floor; a pool of wool at her feet as she stared hard at Alice‘s 6 degrees of lesbians.  She’d always thought that Bette would be the first, the last and the only one that she’d be connected to on that board.  Now she was sure that it was no longer true.  She rubbed her hand over her long face and picked up the marker, finishing off the C and the A with Carpenter, not wanting to give Candace the pleasure of being connected to Bette with her name; it was now a name that was now eternally connected to Bette‘s.