“What do you want from me Bette?” Helena smirked. The fact that she beat her roommate to the punch, subsequently causing her to tumble off course, thrilled her.
“What do I want from you? You’re the one who suggested I return to New York with you.” Bette retorted. Her plan had been intercepted.
“And?” Helena sharply raised an eyebrow.
“And what? Helena I really don’t feel like mental gymnastics right now. Could you please just talk to me?”
“Absolutely. You’re right Bette. I did suggest you come to New York with me and my reasoning, I admit is purely selfish. I love you and you already know what I want.” Helena stated. She smiled hesitantly before continuing. “What do you want? Do you even know Bette? You say you love Tina yet you’re here with me. Why is that?” Helena rolled her eyes and continued her interrogation. “You know Bette? I’m starting to think you like this. You like that Tina and I both want you don’t you? It’s a tremendous ego booster isn’t it? I mean, I would certainly take great pleasure if I were in your shoes. Although, I wouldn’t want Tina Kennard’s attention if she were the last woman on earth. I haven’t the foggiest idea what you could possibly see in a tramp, but that’s your call. Anyway, you’re straddling the fence and quite satisfied in that position it seems.”
“You don’t know what I’m doing Helena. How the ***** do you know? You’re making these assumptions on what basis?” Bette seethed.
“There’s a funny thing about the mind Bette. Did you know if the mind doesn’t have all the information it needs, it takes it upon itself to fill in the blanks? You’re right; I don’t know anything for sure Bette. But you won’t tell me otherwise and I don’t have anything to go on. So, I filled in the blanks myself.” Helena flung a section of her escaped tresses back to their designated position and dared them to move again. “Do you remember Lauren? You know, the woman I’m supposedly dating but am unable to focus on because my thoughts are consumed with you. She told me that when I finished having my “Porter Party” as she put it, that she would still be around for me. Isn’t that kind of her? Can you imagine how she must feel having me, but not really having me, because I want you to have me? I swear Bette; this is becoming quite a debacle.”
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OK is it me or when you see those crazy peeps at the airport with there stress balls it scares the shit out of me. Like really the airport is not somewhere you want to see peeps trying to get there stress out before they snap.
LMAO at you having to change your authors note! What did you expect? Oy. Now for the story. No food was mentioned so I’m a bit lost as to how to comment. Here goes; I’m so happy Hel couldn’t help herself and Bette has finally had enough of her nasty, childish ways. Now Bette needs to get past her childish ways and figure out how she is going to make this up to Tina. I”m looking forward to their make-up sex! Oh, and when is Bette’s husband going to show up? Did you ask for a ping? Hmmmm, since you asked so nicely I”ll work on it. Thanks again for this wonderful story.
I have tears in my eyes. That was one of best pieces of writing that I have ever read. Simply superb and you have once again…made my day.
Halloween is tomorrow night G…you spooked a whole bunch of people with your original comment in your author notes…sorry, LMAO….Oh my Tina is so pissed…will Bette be able to redeem herself, she has got some explaining to do to get back into Tina’s heart. I hope Tina gets to see the letter that was beautiful.Thanks Greentea.
B&H not even funny let’s not even joke about that!!!!!!!!!!!! bette and tina are hurting each other way to much i can’t take much more of this please let them talk and stop hurting each other!!!!!!!!
“Helena is on a mission Techie.”Mission, Schmission. True love will prevail! Now…on to the story (TG puts on the headphones and turns up the I-tunes – blastoff!)
BTW – I think a momentary dalliance is not beyond Bette, or beyond Tina’s understanding, or beyond the conclusion of an everlasting love. This is all new to Bette, I wouldn’t expect her to just settle down with the first woman she sleeps with without some experimentation for comparison’s sake. Love your comments! …back to the start of the story…
Alright Greentea (still on a full name basis) I suppose that I am ready to talk to you now. *Thinking to myself (not sure if that’s true)* Truth be told, if I don’t speak now I may not get another opportunity this week. *Pacing back and forth* Where do I begin with you?Last installment, the erratic and turbulent nature of your driving was starting to get to me. This installment has continued to shake me up. *Pacing again* Greentea, are you sure you like this place? Are you sure that this is the way you want us to go? I have developed my own trust issues from riding in the car with you. Let’s start at the beginning. Here are my thoughts:- My girl Tina is a wreck (Am I great at stating the obvious, or what?). I guess this is understandable. Is Tina creating a self-fufilling prophecy by believeing that she never really deserved Bette and thus happiness because of her past? She must conquer her feeling of not deserving if she is to lead a balanced and happy life and not continue to create loss of the things that she truly wants.- Helena the Headache strikes again. Why in the world would Bette want to be with someone that gives her a headache (just asking)?- I believe Helena must have a blockage in the 3rd chakra. Not judging, just observing. Perhaps she should begin a meditation practice to rid herself of the heaviness there. – I am proud of Bette for taking a time-out to breathe and regroup. Her choices were/are confusing me. Hopefully during this time she will be able to inhale the energy of the city and chart her travel route back to L.A.I guess my thoughts on this chapter were really just questions. I am trying to follow each characters motivations, but I think I need some help from you. Green (starting to feel re-connected, thus nickname is in order), now that I have told you what I am thinking and how I am feeling I think we may be able to reconcile our friendship. However, we must continue to talk to each other.Until you give me your next gift……
While it was dumb for Bette to go to NY with Helena, she was smart enough to come to her senses and stay in a seperate hotel. I hope that she gets in contact with and talk to Tina. She needs to reassure Tina of her love and commitment to her. Great chapter Grennie, because that is exactly wht Bette needed STILLNESS.On a totally different note, I am surprised that Bette has not attempted to give up or at least cut down on smoking. Considering how helth consious Tina is, I would think that this is something that Bette would want to do for her lady love.
Last thought, I am glad you revised the author’s note.
You play too much….*smile*
I’m on page 3. Where’s the Hel/Bette sex? I just see sour grapes so far.
Perception is everything, right, tea? Interesting how each reader’s frame of reference seems to now be influencing how they read your story…I didn’t take your author’s note seriously – was I supposed to? Am I the one missing the point here? It seems to me that the body does not easily walk away from passionate rapture; the type Bette expressed in her letter…And on another note – this whole world of you and your story and the responses, and then, your responses to the responses … it’s the best thing going on the site. Hope you’re enjoying it as much as I am (well, just overlook the hate mail, ok?)! Totally misdirected!! Thanks for the post – awesome!
i guess it’s good that i read this story after you revised the author comments, i would be surely having an early heart attack…but i couldn’t read it in the morning (weekly religious meetings unfortunately), but all i could think of, while sitting there, was your story and if i should get my xanax in advance and then drink plenty of green tea with maui caramacs (lately chocolate and green tea became my way to fight stress)…anyway, the wasy you discribe emotions and actions is the poetry that makes my mind to go extra mile to drink the full beauty of what i read, and my heart of course beating so fast in anticipation and frustration and excitement and all other emotions that usually are asleep in my dormant soul…and if you are waisting your writing time by trying to catch up on my story, don’t bother, it’s to trivial in comparison (and i’m honest, i’m not asking for a praise or a compliment), i’d rather you write and post soon…just so we clear: you never have been on any of my lists other than a Top 10 best fan fic writers list, and if i read this chapter right and my mind wasn’t clouded by a previous chapter, it was H’s dream, right? BP redeemed herself with her letter, i just only hope that B&T both will find a peace of mind and return to LA to seek each other and be together
I think you missed a great opportunity to FLESH OUT (ha!) Bette’s moral quandry by not portraying her intimate moments with Helena as vividly as the ones she has had with Tina. Really, opposing voices and opinions be damned. You should show the Hel/Bette sex. It’s the best thing for this story. It informs the bristling confrontation they have later. As it is, something seems missing. Or, maybe they weren’t intimate. Or, maybe I should write my own story or offer to pay the bodyguards you’ll need if you comply with my suggestion. Okay, then.
First of all…i think you had better not explained to me what homeostasis is cos the dictionary explanation was even less understandable than the word itself. I was like’HUH’?? I have decided I will rather stay dumb then..cos apparently Im lackin a lot. I was whipping out my dictionary every 3rd word in the new chappy. All those big words like ”theorem“ had my head spinning like a wheel.*lol* Okay..the references to absolute stillness and the state of ‘comatose’ in your chapter knock me down. Like they are so random but so vivid..tho its just a state. Like i can see the stillness although i cant. Does that make sense? I dont have much words for it..its just pure brilliance and its all there is to say.It already starts with the quote at the beginning “No one can see their reflection in the running water. It is only in still water we can see.“.—Woah. I was already hypnotized at that quote and it has me thinkin ever since.And yes i do think..even if I dont know any big words. ;-)Again…quickly becoming my favourite parts of your chappys. The lil tidbits. The descriptive short detours you take that sooo belong to the story but then dont really. So image-filled described that they hook me completely. LUV it.“Assessing her surroundings, a heartbroken Tina stared at the purple tubular case leaning against her backpack. As she traced her fingers along the engraved initials stitched in yellow, her eyes filled to capacity with water. The raised ‘T.K.’ was now extremely blurry and appeared in triplicate. She removed her worn but favorite yoga mat from the case that Bette had given her and walked to the nearest trash can. Without a second thought, she stuffed the case in the hungry receptacle and returned to where she had been sitting.—–‘hungry receptacle’ *bows down’ all hail to you woman. You sooo rock!! Zanyness all over!And then kinda not..cos it fits to bring Tina’s state across but then again, it could just not be there which would be a damn shame. Me luvs ‘zany’!!! :-D Lemme just add I luv airports and hate flying..and i never seen anyone with a stressball at airports and thats a way weird thing to do. *lol* Is it just me or was this kinda gross “There were far greater things to concern herself with besides a runny nose. In fact, the sleeve of her denim jacket was serving as an exceptional tissue.”—- Gross but zany!!So its all good ;-) LOL“She felt old and useless. Tired and worn out. Discarded and empty. She felt nothing, but at the same time she felt everything. And it hurt.“–Okay,just kill me right away..will ya?? Woah, that was soo deep and painful and realistic and just raw. Hmmm….I just wanna know,on another tip, whether she said everyhing following ““Have you slept with her yet?” in the same high pitched agitated voice she had in the beginning of her convo with Bette and Im wonderin what the people on the plane near her thought of hearing Bettes visual and aural antics in bed described to them like that. *lol*I like how randomly Bette wakes Hel up from sleeping to demand the painting. Randomness rules big-time. *LOL* She didnt even give Hel time to compose herself*hahaha*. And for the duration of reading the following I descended onto cheering and rooting for Helena…sympathising with her every truthful and sensible word.” “What do you want? Do you even know Bette? You say you love Tina yet you’re here with me. Why is that?” Helena rolled her eyes and continued her interrogation. “You know Bette? I’m starting to think you like this. You like that Tina and I both want you don’t you? It’s a tremendous ego booster isn’t it?“—- ABSOLFRIKKINLUTELY TRUE. Can anyone say it ANY better. Bette fell for her ego…oh so hard.And Hel sussed her out and calls her out to it.Illmatic.UNTIL…right that point where she calls Tina a ‘tramp’. Thats when i thought ’How dumb are you???Thats right what will turn bette cold off you…why do you say it?’ Damn,she cant be the brightest lightbulb either..just like me. ;-) lol“Just calling a spade a spade Bette” and ““And some contain more dirt and filth than others. Tina Kennard fits in the dirtiest of dirty categories.” “—That was nasty shit. And I wonder how one woman can combine so much eloquence and tradition and form and so much venom and evil combined in one. Ewww…gross. *lol* Like there is a difference between bein negatively enclined to someone and bein downright nasty, venomous,spineless. Hmm..The letter was good. It was soo full of imagery ,of stuff like “You stroke my self confidence until it’s excited, swollen and glistening. I throb for you.“—woah holy damn shizzam. And thats where words leave me. DAMN. BUT then again..the letter says a lot bout Bettes state and her feelings for Tina.But its too easy man..too easy. I want Bette to burn for her thoughtless behaviour…like burn properly and this doesnt seem she is thinkin enough yet. Maybe this is her first step of the process tho, i guess you will decide that. Let them think, rejuvenate and find the calm you emphasised all through the chappy. This chappy has totally thrown me in a loop. Kudos to you for achieving that…*smiles slightly*
tea my heart is a bit heavier now!! hopefully u will relieve it soon
Hey Green I’m always in your corner! Love your writing and it is your story so you will take it in whatever direction you decide and i will be there to read it. I can’t help being a b+t though that is my perogitive!!!
WHEW! SOOO glad that was a dream. Pleeaaase post again soon!
greenie girl…between albeez and slippery..you have had your feel of comments on this one. I will thank you for letting Bette see the light and taking it a little easier on my heart this time around. Please give us more soon.
greenie girl…between albeez and slippery..you have had your feel of comments on this one. I will thank you for letting Bette see the light and taking it a little easier on my heart this time around. Please give us more soon.
F*ck Greenie…the letter was breathtaking wow.I´m not so chocked any more after reading this update…wonderful greenie..do keep it up and do get our girls talking…do let Bette open her heart to Tina. Post soon
Thank God Bette has come to her senses! My sense of optimism has been renewed. And that Mandarian Oriental in NYC is sweet. Look forward to your next post- well done with this one.
Yep…literary masochist. I know there’s no sense in begging for your mercy, but I still feel the need to vainly ask PLEASE let B&T be happy and together soon. :)By the by…joking that Bette and Helena end up together…not funny. Okay, so it WAS kind of funny…but not nice.;)
Oh Beautiful, isn’t it fun to upset the masses ;] I can only imagine the fury of the fans over a BH story..tehee..I really hope to have that lunch soon my taste buds are swollen with anticipation and my tummy ravenous with an incredible hunger for you…opps, lunch with you..let’s keep it light nothing too heavy for lunch, sounds good? Have a Wonderful week Beautiful…I’m ready to read all you want to give…until next time…muah
Ok I had a smile on my face at the end of the last chapter…..That smile widing when I read your author’s note about B&H…..but after reading and reading my smile turned into a frown…LOL….Im looking forward to B&H….So make it happen soon…Post soon.
You capture the intricacies of pain so well ….. yet you try to paint them with a light stoke ? Your writing intrigues me …. It really is a contradiction, but then what in life is not so. Thank you – a total pleasure to read, you indeed have a gift.
Wow let Bette and Tina back and be together!
god please dont leave us hnging for long i love the Bette and Tina in this story together post soon the suspense is killing me, and i am so glad she never really slept with helena.
**Sitting still, pondering** Green, not sure how I feel about this one. On the one hand the connection between B & T thrills me. The letter Bette has written is superb. On the other hand, the lure of Helena escapes me. Their relationship seems so contentious and filled with one-upsmanship(I know it’s not a word, go with me on this one). I am sure that you will fill in the gaps for me, but my current state is perplexed. I will return once I have had more time to ponder this gift from you.
Ok…. I’m feeling different emotions right now. I read the author’s note, which really was a disappointment. Helena and Bette ending up together is the biggest disappointment that could have come out of this story for me. Then, I read the story and I am sad for Tina. Next Bette’s interaction with Helena has me confused. Now, Bette’s letter is touching but further confuses me, because she is supposed to love Tina, yet is with Helena. That makes absolutely no sense to me. At this point, I am not as excited about this story as I have been since day one, especially if Bette won’t end up with Tina. However, despite my unhappiness with the path this story is taking, the writing is excellent as always.
No…I get it…this Bette so hurt by her previous relationship with her husband, now has her ego stroked by two gorgeous women who claim to love her, just as he must have done, confusing and ego boosting at the same time, yes? well that’s what I’d like to think! Thanks for an excellent story.
my, my, my….where to begin. I was so happy to see a new chapter from you then I got a little sad while reading your author’s note. I just don’t see what it is bet Bette and Hel that would even compare to Tina and Bette. And my goodness, Bette’s letter was amazing! You are still the bomb, no matter where you take the story. But is there anything I could say that will make u consider keeping B and T together? anything? How about if I got you a cute litte kitten? a lifetime supply of greentea? do you even like greentea? well I am j/k of course, but I just want you to know I am with until the end. But can we make a deal? If Hel and Bette do end up together, can you maybe do another story where our 2 girls end up happy and in live, with EACH OTHER! pretty please. until next time. hey good luck on your marathon run. you go girl!
Crush my heart..why dont you??Oh wow..from squealin at the sight of a new chapter from you(I did it again..lol) to bein crushed by the state of Tina’s emotional and seemingly physical misery, to Bettes realisation and and the heartfeltness and depths of that letter…what you tryin to do to me?? I do NOT like rollercoasters..lol and i feel like Ive been on a BIG one this chappy. Just so you get it right..I absolutely LUVED it but i feel kinda shaken now..So lemme regroup and I be back to comment more later, as usual. Thanks for the reading treat tho..:-D.
No not dreaming…..oh and I don’t like waiting so pls post soon….please
Looking for a great Rollercoaster ride? Forget Six Flags, forget Universal, take the Greentea Express, it will not disappoint! What a wonderfully descriptive story you are writing. It make me want to hop on a plane to Cabo San Lucas!And the airport and airplane seating, well one could write a novel on that alone. I flew to Chile last spring, and it took me two days to get the feeling back in my body.Now, I think I’ll get my outta shape ass out the door and go for a run. You inspire me Green. Thanks for finding time to write.
Ok, I’m buckled in and ready…as I can be. First, I know dumb question..but did they??? you left us at the arousal against the wall and then after shower, but the play between them leads me to question is they consumated this “whatever” and if so then Bette would have lied to Tina, which I don’t believe that Tina would be able to forgive. Oh thankyou by the way that you didn’t put into words the visual of what B/H would have been…Yikes!! the thought is enough. I’m thinking that if Bette can find Tina and that she will see her things are not going to go smoothly…Tina will cut a part of herself off from bette. This tina is new to being so vulnerable and at this point it’s not sitting well and will sacrifice some free spirit in order to protect herself from Bette and what bette evokes from her…sorry just rambling…give it to us greentea, we’re ready and waiting
please dont put helena and bette together,she belongs with tina. if helena really wants to be with bette why didnt she make her move when they were living together. helena only became interested when tina came on the scene. i feel for tina because bette knows tina loves her and shes playing those mind games. forget about her tina its her loss.
Wow emotional rollercoaster it is. First off glad to see that you posted today. I was in need of a greentea fix. Secondly, totally bumbed out by the authors notes that Bette and Helena will be together in the long run. It makes me want to _______. Well you can fill in the blank but let me tell you it is not nice at all. Well I shall be sitting patiently untill you give us an update.
This a a question and plea to all my fellow fanfic readers. Do I slipperynipple based on my reaction to the previous chapter want to or should I read this chapter? Hmmm I think I’m going to have to do some serious preparation meditation. lol
You really want to get me back using that inhaler don’t you? Your a bad girl!
Ok this is the last time I will be double posting comments for this story, I promise. But I have to ask what are you doing to me Greentea? I am now thoroughly confused. You really stress the importance of finding peace, in your stories but thanks to you I have totally lost mines. What happened in between you writing your author’s note and writing this story? Initially I figured ok Helena has always been there for Bette so it might be, based on this reason, easy for Bette to feel that she loves Helena. I mean she has been there for her and that idea alone can really make a person think and feel something more. But then you hit me with the last chapter and then I started thinking how insentive can one person be. What Bette did is quite freaking unforgivable, on so many levels. Now I come to this chapter, here I am mentally and physically preparing myself to accept Bette and Helena together and then I read this chapter, which left me misty by the way, and it seems to be totally the opposite and not to mention bitter sweet, cause everybody is a mess. I can totally sympathize with having a really shitty week or month or year for that matter so I get how stressful all the demands of life can be but please find you inner peace. Your a much sweeter writer when thats the case. I still love your story and I’ll admit something to you, I purposely avoided reading your story after I read the author’s note on your first chapter. But I am so happy that I eventually, after many months of debating if I should, gave it a chance. Now I’m off to have my greentea and mint for the evening. *Cheers, your a star lady*
:D awesome chappy… would say more but desperate housewives is on nw… :P
1st Bette has a meltdown when Tina talked about Helena like a dog; now she is doing the same thing while Helena talks about Tina in the same fashion. Why won’t Bette get it through her head that she cannot control the way these 2 women feel about each other. Personally I feel that Helena and Tina are entitled to their feelings and nothing gives Bette the right to decide otherwise!…..And on a final note, I LOVE the letter that Bette wrote to Tina! GT, you get 2 snaps w/ a twist + a ^5 for that 1.
If Bette is as egotistical and emotionally unstable as you’ve recently made her out to be, I guess the Helena thing is not beyond the realm of possibility. Therefore I sense that you’ve abandoned it a bit prematurely, perhaps due to reader pressure. Nevertheless, one reason I enjoy your work as I do is the lack of predictability and complacency you bring to it. So I’ll shut up and just see what you’re serving up next.
Hey green I just read your revised author’s note, and boy that was a relief! I am serious. You know you are my girl, definitely one the best author’s on this site. Thanks for sharing your talent with us. So I guess you can disregard part of my last comment…..so after a sigh of relief I say until next time sweetie.
This chapter is superb – I still love Tina but where is she going? And, Bette is beginning to grow on me after that letter. Your writing is one of the best around. When’s the marathon? Please post soon – guess it’ll be a little while until we get an NC-17 chpater – shucks!
Thought i would leave you 2 messages tonight 1 for each time i read your story great work Green you really do have a flair for writing!!!!!
Your gorgeous words, Bette’s letter to Tina, captured my heart and gave it pause, I feel they gave my troubles some truly sought after repair. Thank you, although I don’t comment after every chapter, please know that I read every one. I am always thrilled and moved by the embrace of your writing, and your superb characterizations. Take care of you’re talented self and I’ll look forward as ever to your next post.
greenie – god fucking damn girl. im not happy at the moment. remember the tongue lashing????? well angel, your getting one. i was being nice before, cuz i was giving you my heart. hmmmm. ill be back later after i have so calmed my troubled spirit. and baby your making me the greentea. its only fair for your first.
Okay, I revised my author’s comments. Really didn’t mean to confuse you with them. See that’s what I get for joking around too much. Let’s set the record straight. There’s no long term B&H k?
oh my green, the letter is excellent. Your story continues to capture me with your wonderful way in which you tell a story. keep writing and i’ll keep reading….always. thank you for sharing with us.
fergz you do have an idea about how i feel about this. baby, what are you doing to me? i thought we had an understanding?? hmmm. crushed, i thought i was special. well, live and learn. heehee.
uh- wow. how’s that for an intelligent response? loved the update and can’t wait to see how you pull these 2 back together. patience, deep breath, calming deep breaths, right?
Greentea,Beautifully written! But the angst has my breathing all out of whack again! You know that don’t you?! Please still Bette & Tina’s ‘waters’ so they can see each other’s true reflections! Revive them . . . so I can breathe better!
Coming back by to see if the Hel/Bette sex has been folded into the mix. The guys I worked with used to say, “You don’t have a hair in your ass if you don’t… ___ do whatever they dared one to do. Okay, so you had to be there to appreciate it. “So please tell me why Don’t you come around no more? Cause right now I’m cryin’ outside the door of your candystore.” …(go ‘head Michelle & Carlos) Looking forward to Bette’s march on Cabo! ‘Til then!