“Deal?” Alice asked after she had finished.

Gathering her strength, Dana spoke in a hoarse whisper.  “Deal.”  The effort was worth the smile of relief she got from Alice in return.  Alice leaned down and kissed Dana’s cheek lightly.  

As she felt Alice’s lips brush against the side of her face, Dana wished she could ask her to stay that close to her.  She wanted Alice near her all the time, especially now when she felt so weak and scared.  

But, most importantly, she wanted Alice to know how she felt about her.  Alice was the most important person in her life, and she wanted more than anything to be able to tell her that.  The hopes that Dana had begun to have that she and Alice might be able to find their way back together were being slowly stolen from her as she felt herself falling into the abyss of this illness.  If the worst should happen, she wanted Alice to know how she felt.  The least she could do was to give her that certainty.  All the fears and self-protective walls that Dana had built around herself while she was well had disappeared with this infection.  All that mattered now was Alice.

Taking a shallow breath, she whispered, “I love you.”

Alice’s face registered surprise, uncertainty, and happiness all at once.  She knew Dana was verging on delirium, so she wasn’t sure how she was supposed to interpret that statement.  Considering all the possible responses, she decided to take Dana’s words at their face value, and simply replied, “I love you, too.”

Dana shut her eyes in disappointment.  She could tell from Alice’s tone that she hadn’t registered the full weight of her words.  And why should she understand? Dana thought to herself as Alice gathered her wallet and prepared to leave the room to go for a walk.  Dana had hurt Alice deeply months ago when she had left her to start a new relationship with Lara, and their friendship had only recently begun to heal from the rift her actions had caused.  Before this infection had taken over her body, Dana had been so relieved that they were finally finding their way back to being best friends again that she hadn’t found a way to express her desire for more.  She hadn’t had enough time.