She lets me rest for a moment and then shifts so that she is looking down at me. “You are such a girl.” She says seriously, her blue eyes betraying her amusement.

“Lucky for you.” I grin as I pull her mouth toward mine and kiss her playfully. “Mmm…will you carry me?” I ask her as she pulls away.

I feel the warmth of her giggle as she pulls her body away from me and moves to stand up. “No, but I’ll drag you.” She giggles again off of the look that I am shooting her and once again she is bouncing away…

I straighten up and finish the water, coughing a little at the tightness in my lungs. The sun is setting over the mountains and from where I am standing I can see the lights of the city starting to come alive. I imagine what’s going on down there trying not to remember what you and I would be doing on a Saturday night. Trying not to remember that I love you so much…

The running didn’t help this time and I can’t believe I’m here. I raise my hand and knock on the door. A moment later Lara throws it open and we’re standing there staring at each other. She doesn’t say anything to me only stands there and watches me. I can feel her eyes on me even as I look down at my feet. I meet her eyes and I know that my free pass has expired. “Alice.” She says my name in a whisper. “I can’t do this tonight.” I meet her eyes and that look is there again. “I’m sorry.” And that’s when I hear it.

“Lara! Are you coming back?!?” It’s a girl’s voice calling from the living room.

I feel my eyes widen in shock and then I am turning away from her and running away even as Lara is calling after me. I can’t remember the tears starting, but when I finally make it to my car they are falling over my cheeks, weaving over the familiar paths that seem to have worn themselves on my pale cheeks. I jam my key into the ignition, confused at the tears and the swirling feeling of hurt that is swimming in my stomach…