There’s a week that my Only decided to let me.

There’s a week that I’m dying a little more each day I pass without her.

There’s a week that I cry all the tears of my eyes.

There’s a week I think that life sucks, life, the ***** unfair life.

There’s a week that I didn’t see the sunlight.

There’s a week that I havn’t seen one of my freinds or any person.

There’s a week I cut myself of this world.

There’s a week now that I lost my everything.

I’m not in mood to do anything. I want to know how many times I can survive without eat something. Its funny how your body can react to the food. First you don’t eat so he screams because he needs some food. Then he gives you stomach ache. And after this he rejects every idea of food. And finally he starts again to scream for some food.

Like this one I’m making some experiences. Maybe one of them can erase the horrible pain and hurt I feel every days, every minuts, every seconds since my soulmate get away from me.

I found this song of this band Massiv Attack hearing the radio one night and I found it so close to my situation. Yes now I really know that love is a verb.Its just a verb, a ***** word. If it was not the case, how she could said me that she ….(cries)… that she loved me? Its impossible, no one can live without the person he loves. Except of course if for this person love is just a word. And that’s her case, it means nothing more for her.

She get away from me (it was her not me). I will remember that day all my life as it was a day I felt every feelings a human being could have. I woke up this morning to find my bed empty of her. Well empty of her fisically. Because I still can smell her perfume on my sheets.And then she let me a note.

(Alice has the letter in the hands). Oh god. It was so fabulous. I felt this morning happy just asbolutely and totally happy like I never was and will never. I remember that I had during the day a huge smile on the face that didn’t want to go away. Until…(her face reveals the angry)…Until I saw that.

I heard people said that they can keep their calm in every situation, no matter what could happen. I can tell that when I arrived to the Planet this morning, there’s no one who can keep his calm if this person was in my situation.

I saw the red haired. Lara. The ***** subchef. I know maybe it’s unfair for her (I don’t think so) but I hate her. I hate all in her, her smile, a false smile that makes me feel so angry. I hate her colour of hair, what’s that? She can’t enter in a room without all people look over her. And especially I hate her to be with Dana, to be with Dana before me. If I wasn’t so stupid I would have Dana before her and so they could never met. But they met and even if I’m here now she continued to stay here, a constant shadow between me and Dana and our happiness. And that day I saw that. I saw her smiling to Dana but the worst was Dana’s smile. I never trust that a smile could hurt like that. I say hurt but it killed me.

What happen next is all angst, angry, hurt, tears, deception of a lost love. And since that day I live with that feelings and the constant desire to just not feel. How lucky are animals they live their life and they dont think about it. Just live it has to be so peacefull.

I just comfort myself thinking that like in this song she’s stumbling in the dark (like me). I’m her light (like she’s mine) and she lost me. Maybe one day we’ll find the way to our light again.

Well that’s all, I don’t know if I express the sadness of the situation like I wanted but I hope you can see it.