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    That Same Old Two-Step

    Story written on March 18, 2007 by Speed_Racer.
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    Number of Comments: 21
    Words: 5835
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=65006
    Author Notes:

    Helena needs a good kick in the ass and Bette needs to be brought down a peg or two. One shot.

    “Nothing. I see nothing.”

    “And that’s the problem. You’re not nothing. You’re someone. Someone who deserves to be treated with respect. Someone who doesn’t need her mother’s handouts to take care of herself. A woman who loves her children and wouldn’t abandon them for some sex filled weekend. You’re Helena fucking Peabody.”

    “That’s not me any more.”

    “I want to hear you say it. Say it.”

    “I can’t… I can’t.”

    “Helena fucking Peabody. Say it.”

    “Helena fucking Peabody,” Helena repeated dully.

    “What was that? Did you whisper that? Where’s the bitch? That woman who pillaged and plundered? I am Helena fucking Peabody. I want you to yell it. Make sure everyone knows who you are.”

    “Bette…”

    “No. Don’t look at me like that. You think this is embarrassing? I had a screaming match with my…lover in front of all our friends. Including Tina. With her date. A woman. Who flirted with Tina throughout the whole dinner. You’re not this spineless person, Helena. You’re not this person who can’t fend for herself. You’re a Peabody. You may not have the money but you damn well have the breeding. This? This outfit, this attitude, and this defeated look in your eyes is beneath you! I am Helena fucking Peabody!”

    “I am Helena fucking Peabody,” Helena said her voice stronger, louder.

    “I am Helena fucking Peabody,” Bette repeated yelling it.

    “I am Helena fucking Peabody,” Helena yelled then clapped her hand over her mouth in embarrassment.

    “Go ahead,” Bette urged with a laugh.

    “I am Helena fucking Peabody and I don’t take shit from anyone!”

    “I won’t be used. I won’t be abused. I won’t be—what rhymes with abused?” Bette asked laughing.

    “I’m Helena Peabody and you’ll rue the day you fucked with me! I won’t be used. I won’t be put on display. I won’t be brought down! I am a Peabody for bloody fucks sake! It’s about time I started acting like one!”

    “Bravo! Bravo!”

    “I am Bette Porter and I’m a control freak. Say it now.”

    “I don’t—“ Bette began.

    “And I don’t care who knows it! C’mon, Bette.”

    “You forgot to add the fuck.”

    “You’re right. Go ahead and add it.”

    “I am Bette fucking Porter and I am a control freak,” Bette yelled.

    “And the world revolves around me,” Helena added with a wide grin.

    “And the world revolves around me! And it damn well fucking should!”

    “I’m Helena Peabody.”

    “I’m Bette Porter.”

    “…And we’re not going to take this shit anymore!”

     

     

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    Comments

    6. Speed Racer, Nice story! I’ve been waiting about a month for the resolution to the cliffie from “Say It Like you Mean It.” This is a great Bette/Helena interlude and very possible. I just loved the way you let them bait each other in “Mean It.” Hope you haven’t given up on that one. I know it’s often hard to get to post when you have that real life thing going on, but hope you have time soon! Thanks for writing!!!!!!!!!!!!

    10. Hey SR, Great intro for what promises to be an interesting and humorous tale. Loved the ending as both gals stood shouting their respective mantras. I can’t wait until you continue this story as it illustrates your terrific talent. Many thanks, Your Loyal Fan.

    11. speedy hun, did I ever tell you that you ROCK! I mean, you could write a story about George W. and his teddy bear and I’d still be captivated by it! Awesome! I think this is the 2nd story you should continue (after Say It :p) Speaking about Say it. I’m VERY eagerly waiting for the next chapter ;)

    15. I haven’t read it yet but had to make comment. Thanks for the “crumb” I know it will be filling and thanks to JaneC for tipping me off on another site that Speed_Racer has posted a story. Now I will go read ;-)

    16. Thanks for the story. If only the writers of this show could have one tenth of the insight you have into Helena our favorite season 2 bitch. Great interaction between the two. Very much in character to both. Now I’ll go read it again about two three more times.

    19. is it wrong if i am a bette and tina fan and yet i also root for bette and helena? hmmmmm… nope.. great start speed.. hope to hear from your other stories soon..

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