Helena backed away and stumbled, taking the seat directly across from the dirty pervs.  She didn’t, for one second, take her eyes off the under cover love fest going on before herfor fear of missing the finale, of course.  She wasn’t going to let an opportunity like this pass her by; uh, uh, no way.  Sorry, but if Cat’s was in town making a one night come back, would you pass up free tickets?  I didn’t think so.  Good girls!

Helena: “Well, this is interesting, isn’t it?”

Bette and Tina’s heads were frozen in Helena‘s direction.  If Bette’s saucer-like eyes were laser’sHelena would have been sawed in half before her ***** even touched the seat.

Helena: “Hmm, this reminds me of an email I read not to long ago.  Oh, how did it go?”

Touching her fingertips to her chin, Helena said, “Oh, wait, I’ve got it.  Now, stop me if either of you read this one already.  Airplane ticket to the Grand Canyon, 275 dollars.   First class upgrade the minute you hit the gate, 350 dollars.  Watching your ex girlfriend palm her ex, but now current, love slave while surrounded by strangers on a crowded plane and then having the audacity to try and conceal it under a disease ridden blanketpriceless!  Oh, I can tell by your faces, you’ve read it.”

Bette wanted nothing more than to leap from her seat and deliver Helena a shot upside the headTyson style.  Unfortunately, she couldn’t move at the moment.  Tina had her in (cough) lock down.

“Tina, you might want to”

Tina, without taking her eyes off Helena, said, “I’m way ahead of you, sister.”  And with that, quickly pulled her dripping wet paw from Bette’s crotch and delivered Helena one moistened shot to the headwhich of course, sent Helena crying in disgust toward the back of the plane.  Bette’s saucers were now dinner plates as Tina retook her seat, and resumed the position.  “Holy ***** T.”

Helena grabbed a towel from the stewardess caddy and as Peggy was coming out of the bathroom she was pushed aside by her daughter’s sudden urgency to “freshen up,” if you will. 

As the door slammed shut, Peggy turned and yelled, “Who the ***** hit you with a glazed donut?  Jesus Christ, its summer camp all over again with that one.”   She walked over and leaned against the wall next to Shane, who had been, before Helena justifiably cut the line, waiting for the bathroom. “Gotta light?” Peggy said, twisting her smoke into a chic, foot long holder.