Alice: “Oh Dana, words can never express how sorry I am for getting you into this messfor dooming us.  Oh God in heaven, if you can hear me, please, please, please, if you save us, I’ll never, never, never do anything like this again, I promise you

Dana finished tapping the rest of the sand and rock from her Timberland and slipping it back on, noticed the light shining in through an opening between two rock slabs.  She smiled to herself as Alice‘s pleas engulfed the newly formed cave.  “Alice, Alice??”

Alice, wiping her tears, said, “Oh, Dana, is that you?  I can hardly hear you.  I think I’m dehydratedand starving to death, of course.  I’m not sure if that’s you, or my hallucinations anymore.”

Dana: “Alice, we’ve been in here for 4 hours.  Yeah, and you just drank from your canteen about a half hour ago.”

Alice lifted her head.  “Really?  Huh, it seems like so long ago”

Dana lightly kicked Alice‘s shoulder and said, “Get up.”

Alice sat up and pushing her back against a rock, said, “Dana, I want you to listen to me, as you’re my only witness.  Well, are you listening?”

Dana, wiping the dirt from her pants, said, “Oh yeah, Alice, I’m listening.”

Alice:  “Good.  I knew I could count on you.  Now, Dana, I’ve never made out a will”

Dana rolled her eyes, “Oh Alice.”

Alice: “I know, dumb move.  I just assumed I was so young I wouldn’t need it.  But, I realize now that life is so fragile, Dana.  So, so fragile.  It could be taken away from you like that (Snap!)  Which is why I think we should recite our wills to each other.  That way if one of us makes it out of this godforsaken tomb alive, the other can go on and deliver their wishes to our loved ones.”

Dana folded her arms.  “Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic, Alice.”

Alice, barely finding the strength, continued, “I’ll take that as a yes.  Okay, I’ll go first then.”

As Alice began to recite her last will and testament, Dana got down and began moving rocks from the opening she discovered.

“And I want you to have my disguise case, wigs and all, Dana.  I know it’s a lot, but you mean the world to me.  My mother, well, what do you give the woman who has it all, huh?  You can just give her my Playboys and call it a day with that one.  Shane, oh, my dearest of friendsshe can have my handcuffs and French maid outfitsya know, for Carmen”

As Alice continued divvying up her worldly possessions, Dana peeked her head into the hole and said, “Hey Alice, when you’re done dying, you might want to come out of there.  I got a fire going.”

Alice:  “I’m sorry…you what?