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The ASP: Chapter Twenty
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“Alexandra release me! Now!” she shouted as tears blinded her eyes.
Her plea fell on deaf ears.
Her auburn haired lover continued moving on top of her, lost in her own world of rage and desolation. Her mouth separated from one breast and briefly moved to the other.
“Did you let her touch your breasts? Did you want her to kiss you here?”
Alexandra’s hand moved between Tina’s legs.
“How about here? Did she touch you here?” She forcefully entered her with a single digit. Mercifully the blonde’s center was still damp from their earlier encounter, thereby lessening the discomfort.
Tina’s cries turned into sobs. Alexandra’s finger felt as though it was burning the walls of her core. Her face was awash in tears. The blonde’s body abruptly became limp as she half moaned and half howled, “Oh my god, Alex…stop! You’re hurting me…Stop I beg you…stop…”
Tina’s final plea and obvious submission of her body managed to crack the steely wall the movie executive had positioned around her mind. She released Tina and moved away from her listless body. Stomach acid rapidly rose to the base of her throat. She stumbled toward the toilet and retched.
After her stomach had emptied, a wailing sound emerged from Alexandra’s mouth. She started to cry so forcefully, only a silent gasping sound surfaced.
Tina rolled onto her side into a ball, her tears flowing unabated.
The two women became lost in their own emotions. Sorrow, regret, love, hate, rage, compassion, jealously, fear, understanding, lust…
Tina was the first to recover sufficiently to speak. She couldn’t even look in the direction of her lover. She was filled with so many disparaging emotions.
In a dead pan voice the blonde simply said, “Alexandra…I want you to leave…NOW.”
The movie executive continued to sob as she responded, “Oh my god, Tina…I am so fucking sorry…I didn’t mean to hurt you… I went crazy when I thought some other woman had touched you… someone you obviously didn’t want … I’m so fucking sorry…” She wrung her hands and balled her hands into fists, unable to discharge her self-loathing.
Tina pulled herself up to a seated position and started to rock softly back and forth on the cold marble tile. She buried her head in her crossed arms, refusing to look at Alexandra. “Leave…NOW!” her voice simmered with rage and pain; devoid of all earlier compassion and concern for her lover.
“Baby, I love you…you know that I love you. I never meant to harm you. The thought of another woman touching you…please…don’t send me away like this… I know I hurt you, but believe me…I didn’t mean to…I simply went crazy… baby… please…”
Tina continued to rock and didn’t respond to Alexandra. She was no longer there. She had left the room; left her body. Even Alexandra recognized the telltale signs.
Alexandra’s self hatred spiraled upward; she grabbed the nearest vase of flowers and threw it into the garden tub shattering it into hundreds of tiny shards of glass.
Tina didn’t even flinch at the sound.
“I love you, Tina. Never forget that. Never forget how much I fucking love you.” Alexandra’s words were smothered between painful gasps and streams of tears.
She turned and silently walked back to the master bedroom, mindlessly pulling on her discarded clothes.
She knew she must leave.
She walked into the living room and located her overnight bag in the now dark room. She pulled on her coat and shoes. Unlocking the door, she pushed open the screen, stepped onto the veranda and allowed the heavy raindrops to fall on her head. Even their clean wetness couldn’t erase the dirtiness she felt all the way to her core.
The auburn haired woman screamed her pain toward the dark, ominous sky.
She knew she had lost. She knew Tina would never forgive her. Self hate ran through her veins.
She had lost control. She had no one to blame but herself.
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i haven’t read it yet but I already have to say you are so sexy when you get analytical and toss out the big-A words. Now I will read.
Wow, that was so painful all around. Tina has a way of making these women crazy. I think we might need the ATP…Anti-Tina Plan….Lots of big words, thoughts and emotions to digest…Now I have to reread with your initial comments in mind and the rawness of it all…Very raw indeed.
wow, I have so many different thoughts running thru my mind about this chapter. Very powerful indeed, thanks for the post
Oooooooooook! Now that she’s completely out of the picture… and hopefully on her way to hell……….. Let the good times roll and the healing begin for Tina.
i am speechless at the moment… too many emotions running through me not only from the chapter but from your author’s note. this was an exceptional chapter – very painful but exceptionally well written. will PM you later.
East, I have flipped back and forth from your author notes to the bathroom sceen three times now. DO I misunderstand “rather callously (in my opinion) disregarded Alexandra’s feelings” She is a brute. A low down dingy bioch, goodness I can understand her pain but to become animalistic and so forceful, geezzzzzzzzeeeeeua Tina needs to go get her signs back. Very gripping. Thank you, Md aka Oma
I get the feeling from all of your comments that you have wanted us to accept Alex plea for a second chance and have Tina choose her but I can’t. Cheating once can be excuse and forgiven perhaps but not numerous times. I’m not saying that Alex doesn’t love Tina but her love is toxic as show in this chapter. I will never accept the two of them together. HP is not good for Tina either. Tina needs time to heal and figure out how to control her desires for ASP women..who is to say that she knows how to handle one, let alone two or three. LOL The brunette hopefully has had some time to reflect on her actions of the past and write herself for it appears she has some issues as well. Although Alex has left, I don’t believe she will be gone for good because I still believe you want them together. I will continue to read but am very skeptical as to how this will turn out.
That was incredibly intense. It’s very hard to extricate yourself from someone like Alexandria as they feel they have so much power over others. It’s ironic now that is what has ended their relationship permanently.
I actually liked Alex and was hoping they’d work it out but now.Wow.I didn’t expect her to do that to Tee there is no place for that.Bring on the mysterious one.
Wow, you brought out the heavy guns today Eastie. My compassion goes out to both of them now. Alex had no right to assault Tina nor did she have the right to feel the jealousy either. She has had the affairs against her romance with Tina so she does not have the justification of righteous anger towards Tina or Helena. And NEVER, EVER should she have essentially raped Tina just because she was jealous and angry. Neither did she have the right to question Tina about what was going on and should have accepted Tina’s explanation. As for their relationship now, I don’t believe that Tina will ever forgive Alex for what she has done. That actin was for over the top to ever be forgiven and continue in a relationship. Yes, Alex now understands that she has lost Tina forever and will not enjoy Tina in her life ever again. The last part was rather difficult to read and digest. Abuse of any kind goes against the grain for me that Alex had better learn to forgive herself but she needs to now move on and forget Tina because she will never get her back. I do believe that Alex is now officially dead to Tina and nothing can ever change that. Alex knows it too. Maybe now Tina can have an interaction with the mysterious brunette on the beach and maybe get to know her. This will probably take some time because Tina now has the assault to get over as well as all the affairs Alex had while they were together plus the unwanted attentions of Hellno. I think Tina was turned on by HP because she missed Alex so badly. In Tina’s mind they can both go straight to hell now. Can hardly wait to see what happens next. You packed a lot into this chapter and gave us as well as Tina and Alex food for thought. PPS
Oh, Tina, what have you done? Although she spurned Helena’s advances, Helena was spot on sensing T’s attraction to her (and Tina enjoyed it). What was T thinking to keep the flowers and the cards, she had to know Alex would see them. That’s just mean. To be clear: I do not condone Alex’s actions. Right now, T deserves no one. Well done! PPS
wow…what a chapter. i have a feeling alexandria is going to hate herself so much that she causes herself harm. i dont condone her actions towards tina…but tina is playing a dangerous game with people’s feelings. sure alex cheated but when tina started sleeping with her again and spending time with alex she was sending signals of hope to alex. tina needs to remember how she felt played and think about how that felt to alex. more please
I slept on this overnight and came to the same conclusion. I know I will take a shellaching(sp) on this opinion. I see very little difference between Alex and season 1 Bette. Both are cheaters who claim Tina is the love of their lives. Both essentially raped Tina, in this case, it was because Alex thought Tina as cheating on her, and she needed to control Tina and TIna’s body. In Bette’s case, she was the cheater and needed to control Tina’s attempt to leave her. In either case, I think the relationship needs to be over. These abusive patterns rarely stop. In the fairy tale world of TiBetteland, Bette and Tina get back together without addressing past hurt. Not sure what you have planned for us….That’s me take on your story. That was my gut reaction on first read. I still feel that way…..So bring on the mystery brunette who although flawed, hopefully she is working on her issues. I think Tina needs to wipe the slate clean. Alex and Helena need major conselling for their over the top approach to get their women. IMHO.What happen to charm and suave…
Very intense chapter. I was surprised that Alexandra went into a fit a rage and hurt Tina. I thought that she was trying really hard to change herself to hopefully win back Tina. But Tina was just setting herself up for disaster. Here she made this great plan to start over and she just surrounded herself with these controlling women all over again. Maybe this had to happen to make Tina really wake up and move on. Maybe now the mysterious brunette and Tina can confide in one another and help each other heal old wounds? PPS
Wow that was a really powerful peice there…Both women are in turmoil now.
Spent some time catching up… Wow. That was pretty intense. Alexandra’s crossed a point of no return there. Yes, I get that she was hurting/jealous, but she’s done something she can never take back, and she hates herself for it now. Maybe, one day, Tina will forgive her, and maybe Alexandra will eventually forgive herself, but that sort of violation will never be forgotten. Alex is done, and she knows it. She can only try to change from here, do her penance and find some sort of peace. Now then… As for Bette circa season 1 being compared with Alexandra… Bette’s affair was the culmination of a slow, steady decline in a relationship that had lost its intimacy in so many respects. The affair was also recently preceded by a tragedy that neither Bette nor Tina dealt with, together or alone. Alex cheated, on more than one occasion… basically because she could. After Tina found out about Candace… that was a mutually desperate, in parts brutal, very painful thing that happened between herself and Bette. Alex was own her own there. I do agree control was an aspect, certainly with Alex in this story, definitely on Bette *and* Tina’s part on screen. “Fairy tale world” or not, on screen, they’re at least trying to address the issues… Bette’s changed, Tina’s changed, they’re both still changing, and they’re still as failingly human as they ever were. Anyway, back to this chapter. I’m hoping Tina can cope with everything. It’s a painful end to her relationship with Alexandra. And now she’s got the unrelenting pressure from Helena to deal with as well. I have a feeling she’s going to be very impatient with Helena from now on. As for the mystery brunette, maybe their paths will cross again, sometime soon. This is a really good story, I’m enjoying it. Thanks
Hard to read.Hard to live it… Great chap…great