I was nearing completion of this dreadful task when I saw her.  Everything changed in that breathless moment.  I had not seen her in almost two years, but her beauty had not wavered.  She was still the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth.  The blonde hair, longer than I remembered, the soft milky coloured skin, and those beautiful brown eyes….the windows to her soul.

I had rounded a corner and was about to head up my final aisle when my cart bumped into hers stopping us both dead in our tracks.  We both began to apologize for the mishap when it happened……our eyes met and we simply stared at each other for what was mere seconds, but seemed like an eternity.

She spoke first.  “Bette, …….. hello.”

“T”   I softly whispered my response.

Then at the same time we both asked “how are you”.

Silence followed.  I tried again…..

“You look good.  How have you been?”

She looked at me with her soft gaze, “Good……I’ve been good.”

Surprised to see her in LA, I continued.  “What are you doing here?  I thought you had moved to New York?”

She smiled and looked away briefly before returning to meet my stare.  “I did, but I’ve recently moved back to LA, to work for Shaolin studios again as the Vice President of Development.”

“That’s wonderful, congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

I was afraid to ask this next question for fear of the answer, but I forged ahead, “Do the girls know you are back?”

“No actually they don’t.  No one does.  I just got my place settled and needed to do some shopping as there is nothing in the apartment.”

“I see.”  Looking at her overflowing cart I proceeded to ask if she needed any help, to which she politely responded that she was almost done, and would be fine.

It had been two years since that day when I broke her heart and admitted my infidelity.  She had been my world, my everything, and I had thrown it all away.   This was why I could not bring myself to open that door.  It was the door to our bedroom, and the memories created in that room were so painful that I could not bring myself to enter it. 

Shane had come by one day and gathered my clothes from it and I moved into the spare bedroom of the house, unable to walk back into the sanctuary.  I didn’t deserve that special place.  I had thought about selling the house, but could never bring myself to part with it, that would be like parting with the very last piece of her that I had. 

There were many things in that room that still belonged to her.  She had not wanted them at the time of her move, and I had not wanted to have them removed….so they remained as she had left them.

As the silence between us became uncomfortable, I asked if perhaps one day when she was settled, if she might like to stop by the house and collect anything that she had left behind, if there was anything that she still wanted.

She seemed surprised that I still lived in the house, but did not vocalize that thought, simply answering that maybe one day she would stop by.

Not wanting to delay her any longer, I wished her good luck with her new job and left an open ended invitation to stop by the house any time she liked.  As she started to walk away she looked at me and responded with a soft smile and a gentle “Thanks, maybe one day.”  It wasn’t a no…..she had not said no…..this gave me hope.  For the first time in two years I had hope.  “Take care Bette, I’ll see you around.”

“You too T, I’ll see you around.”

That afternoon……..

So here I was standing before the door.  But this time it was different.  I had a new found energy and confidence that maybe this time…….just maybe this time I could do it.  As I turned the knob slowly I suddenly felt a sense of dread wash over me.  I let go of the handle and stepped back.  Maybe I wasn’t ready for this. 

Taking a deep breath, I slowly stepped forward once more, placed my hand on the handle and turned slowly.  With a gentle push, I slowly opened the door.