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The Fast and Fevered Fall – Chapter Nineteen
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“And then there was Candace.”
“It’s strange how I realise now that Candace was almost an accident waiting to happen. I pushed Bette away presuming that she would always come back to me and when she didn’t I blamed her. It took years for me to come to terms that I was equally complicit in the breakdown of our relationship.”
“But that doesn’t excuse Bette’s behaviour.”
“No, but I set about behaving in an equally bad, if not worse way than she did.”
“But wasn’t that a reaction to how you felt about Bette at the time?”
“Yeah, I’m sure some of it was but flaunting Helena in her face, using Angelica against her, before she was even born. Those are the actions of someone who is set about wreaking revenge, almost destroying the woman that I was supposed to love.”
“Not supposed to love though, did love.”
“Exactly, and that was the main issue. No-one replaced her and I tried Shane. You have no idea how much I tried to replace her in my life. Firstly with Helena and when she wasn’t enough I went back to Bette and then, and I know that this isn’t about to make any sense but I set about not making Bette enough so I ran to something else.”
“Henry?” suggested Shane.
“Do you remember the day of our wedding? I really loved him that day. I thought that he would be the thing that would finally fill the Bette shaped hole in my heart. That if I made a life with him, and Angelica then I could start living my life again.”
“But he wasn’t enough either.”
“No, so I bounced from one relationship to another. From Bette to Helena, back to Bette and then to Henry. I never spent anytime on my own. I was constantly looking for reassurance from someone else. The only constant in my life was Angelica and I hate to think about the damage that I have done to her by living the life that I have.”
“She’s happy with Bette.”
“But she should be with me.”
“She’s with her mother and I don’t think that I’ve seen anyone more enthralled by their child than Bette.”
“So when you constantly go from one thing to another, hoping that it won’t let you down, or that you won’t let it down you start to search for something that is more…I don’t know…I guess more consistent.”
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It’s going to be a long road – but
Sorry – accidentally pressed the wrong tab! I wanted to sound more optimistic (which I am) that with the support of all her old friends, she can pull this round – but Bette and Angelika are the key. Great story.
city…I just love your story…so pleased you have brought Tina home to her family…of course…I live in hopes of a TiBette reunion…PPS…I’m hanging out for an update…
I noticed how Tina didn’t make too much of the fact that Angelica and Bette were doing great, is she now going to be afraid that Bette is a better mother to Angelica than her?
Its great Tina has all this insight but what will she do with it? what will she do to straighten herself out.
it’s good that tina has friends that can help her but she needs to talk to bette for sure, please make them to work things out for the happy ending, please, please…
“the Bette shaped hole in my heart.” A priceless, poignant and very pretty line. Wonderfully sad story, CG. Beautifully done.
Tina is taking baby steps…but at least she is moving. She needs to take one day at a time. She needs to get herself together before she she can think about getting Angelica back. Will Bette give her back is the question. I want them to be a family.
All of us TiBetters are so sappy. We want them back together, no matter what. Tina owning up to her transgressions. How novel! Just like Mads, I am irrationally optimistic about S4 and B & T. PPS.
Tina is coming along and I am glad to see her friends are there for her…I still would like to know how long it’s been since Tina has seen Angelica. Amazing story and looking forward to the next chapter.
LMAO@funnyone! Olive Oyl! That’s exactly what my mom would say about Shane.
This is good and cant wait to see B&T to see each other again!
Its good to see Tina make a start of actually dealing with things. Even talking about being on her own without being disconnected for a while, which probably would be very good thing. But I have to admit having Olive Oyl, I mean Shane, talk about eating properly was rather amusing.
I want that old Tina back too! I have to say that I am still trying to remain upbeat about season 4 – I think my Laurel hug helped get me focused :o)
Tina’s got to get through a day before she can get back to Angie or Bette. I’m surprised she hasn’t got withdrawal symptoms yet. (Not that I’m wishing such horrors on her!) At least Tina’s owning what she did. Great chapter, city girl. It’s stories like yours and the others that are keeping me sane until 7 Jan.
Hope you can bring the old Tina back.
God this story is goooooood!Nice work!
It makes me glad to see that Tina is taking the correct track and that she has friends to help her. I’m hoping for a TiBette union too. Hope you take us there some day! :) Love this story.
Tina taking responsibility, I like it. I have Irationally Optimistic S4 Fever and I’m glad to see it’s catching!
You have some excellent story telling skills on display here citygirl. You do a great job of showing emotion, instead of having the characters tell how they are feeling, and that is a gift many of us wish to emulate. Thank you for taking the time to write, and I do hope you think highly enough of your skills to consider writing for “a living” instead of only for our consumption.
Please write faster. : ) and bring the old Tina back to us. Thank you so much…and luckily haven’t seen the S4 promos.