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The Fast and Fevered Fall – Chapter Nineteen
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“The more you tell me the more I’m surprised that you and Henry lasted as long as you did.”
“Part of the reason why we lasted so long was because Bette was with Emily. It was safe, knowing that while Bette was with someone else there was no real hope of us getting back together. I’d settled for what I had and I knew that Bette loved her, and for a while that was enough for me. When they broke up I went back to thinking about what I’d given up when I left her.”
“So that all led to your drinking?”
“It’s like I said before. I had to find something solid. I’d fooled myself into thinking it was Henry that was the something solid that I needed but that wasn’t the case. What I needed was something that doesn’t cheat on you, doesn’t get jealous because your daughter has another mother. I needed something loyal and the drink turned into my best friend, and quickly.”
Shane sat and pondered all this information for a while. They both sat looking out to sea, watching the waves crash over on another. Tina ran sand through her fingers thinking about all the other things that she had let slip through her fingers through the years.
“So what happens now?” asked Shane, turning so that she could look at Tina.
“I’m not sure. I’m trying to take it one day at a time.”
“But you’ll try to stop drinking?”
“That’s the plan but I don’t know how that’s going to work out. Even now I can feel myself craving something to take the edge off the world. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve faced the world without some kind of anaesthetic.”
“A while.”
“More than a while. It’s more like years, everyday I’ve had a drink so that I can get up the next morning and operate on some level. Ever since I gave up Angelica I’ve not seen the outside world completely sober.”
“Don’t Tina.” said Shane, shocked by Tina’s admission.
“What Shane? It’s the truth. Don’t you think it’s about time I faced up to the truth? I’ve hurt all the people that mean the most to me in the world and I know that I don’t deserve a second chance, especially with Angelica, but I’m going to try and prove to her that I can be the mother that she needs.”
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It’s going to be a long road – but
Sorry – accidentally pressed the wrong tab! I wanted to sound more optimistic (which I am) that with the support of all her old friends, she can pull this round – but Bette and Angelika are the key. Great story.
city…I just love your story…so pleased you have brought Tina home to her family…of course…I live in hopes of a TiBette reunion…PPS…I’m hanging out for an update…
I noticed how Tina didn’t make too much of the fact that Angelica and Bette were doing great, is she now going to be afraid that Bette is a better mother to Angelica than her?
Its great Tina has all this insight but what will she do with it? what will she do to straighten herself out.
it’s good that tina has friends that can help her but she needs to talk to bette for sure, please make them to work things out for the happy ending, please, please…
“the Bette shaped hole in my heart.” A priceless, poignant and very pretty line. Wonderfully sad story, CG. Beautifully done.
Tina is taking baby steps…but at least she is moving. She needs to take one day at a time. She needs to get herself together before she she can think about getting Angelica back. Will Bette give her back is the question. I want them to be a family.
All of us TiBetters are so sappy. We want them back together, no matter what. Tina owning up to her transgressions. How novel! Just like Mads, I am irrationally optimistic about S4 and B & T. PPS.
Tina is coming along and I am glad to see her friends are there for her…I still would like to know how long it’s been since Tina has seen Angelica. Amazing story and looking forward to the next chapter.
LMAO@funnyone! Olive Oyl! That’s exactly what my mom would say about Shane.
This is good and cant wait to see B&T to see each other again!
Its good to see Tina make a start of actually dealing with things. Even talking about being on her own without being disconnected for a while, which probably would be very good thing. But I have to admit having Olive Oyl, I mean Shane, talk about eating properly was rather amusing.
I want that old Tina back too! I have to say that I am still trying to remain upbeat about season 4 – I think my Laurel hug helped get me focused :o)
Tina’s got to get through a day before she can get back to Angie or Bette. I’m surprised she hasn’t got withdrawal symptoms yet. (Not that I’m wishing such horrors on her!) At least Tina’s owning what she did. Great chapter, city girl. It’s stories like yours and the others that are keeping me sane until 7 Jan.
Hope you can bring the old Tina back.
God this story is goooooood!Nice work!
It makes me glad to see that Tina is taking the correct track and that she has friends to help her. I’m hoping for a TiBette union too. Hope you take us there some day! :) Love this story.
Tina taking responsibility, I like it. I have Irationally Optimistic S4 Fever and I’m glad to see it’s catching!
You have some excellent story telling skills on display here citygirl. You do a great job of showing emotion, instead of having the characters tell how they are feeling, and that is a gift many of us wish to emulate. Thank you for taking the time to write, and I do hope you think highly enough of your skills to consider writing for “a living” instead of only for our consumption.
Please write faster. : ) and bring the old Tina back to us. Thank you so much…and luckily haven’t seen the S4 promos.