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The Fast and Fevered Fall – Chapter Twenty Six
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“Yes, I don’t know if that make sense, but when she wanted to move in I realised that I didn’t want to share my life with anyone, not that closely. Not while I was trying to manage my job and spending time with Angelica. I didn’t want anything to upset that balance.”
“I shouldn’t have married him.” said Tina, flatly.
“You wanted to at the time so it couldn’t have all been bad.”
“No, not all bad but I never loved him the way that I loved you.”
“And I never loved Emily the way that I loved you.”
“So where does that leave us?” asked Tina, knowing that she was pushing her luck.
“In a place where you get drunk, come to my house, cry and I try to tell you that everything will work out. I might not know how but I’m sure it will do.”
“I don’t think that’s a great place to be.”
“No, but it’s where we are, and I think that we both know that this isn’t the right time for us.”
“Do you think that there will ever be the right time for us again?” asked Tina, a flicker of hope in her eyes.
“I don’t know, maybe we just work better as parents to Angelica, and people who know what love really means.”
“We could have had so much more.”
“And maybe we still will, but not now. Right now you have to think about how you’re going to resolve your situation with Henry, and what that means for Angelica, but you know that I’m happy to have her stay here until you get things figured out, and if you want to you can stay here for a few days, if you don’t want to go back home.”
“I can’t stay here. I can’t be this vulnerable and be around you.”
“I do know how to behave myself.”
“I know that, but all I want is for you to hold me and I’m scared about where that might lead.”
“It doesn’t have to lead anywhere, just know that I’m going to be there for you. If you don’t stay here where will you go?”
“I think that maybe I should call Helena. I sure she won’t mind if I stay with her until I find myself a place of my own.”
“OK, I’ll let you make the call while I tidy this away.” said Bette, pointing to the cups and the remains of the pastries.
Tina walked into the living room to find her cell phone while Bette went into the kitchen. Bette could just about hear what Tina was saying and could hear the sadness in her voice. As much as she had hated Henry when Tina was leaving her for him she couldn’t deny that after the adoption had gone through he had been good to both Tina and Angelica, sometimes even picking Angelica up from Bette’s when Tina had been delayed at work. They had developed a cordial relationship for the sake of Angelica.
“She said that I could stay as long as I needed to.” said Tina, entering the kitchen and breaking Bette’s train of thought.
“You know that you could stay here.”
“I want to, more than anything but I think that this is better. It’s probably better for us to have some distance between us.”
“How’s your head now?” asked Bette, masking her disappointed at Tina’s insistence that she stay at Helena’s.
“Better, but it still hurts a little bit. I know that I’m taking advantage but do you mind if I take a shower. I feel horrible and I think it might help.”
“Of course you can. Come on and I’ll get you some towels.”
Bette lead the way out of the kitchen to the bathroom. She leant in and turn the shower on, letting the water run hot. She took a towel off the rail and handed it to Tina, their hands brushing together as she did so. They both looked down and then up again into each others eyes. Bette smiled at Tina, feeling the same way that she knew that Tina did. That involuntary touch meant so much more that either of them would dare to admit. Bette moved closer and leant in to kiss Tina gently on the cheek before exiting the bathroom, leaving them both with thoughts of what might have been.
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gosh i feel all mushy……i love this fic……i just wish this could be Bette and Tina on the show!!!
you write sad so well – I am always moved by your mature and caring Bette.
That was sad but can’t wait to see the happy ending!!!!!!!!!!
That was really sad. But Bette was right, they weren’t in a place where they could have even attempted to get back together. It’s just a shame that it took Tina so long to start getting herself together. Once again, good chapter, citygirl.
I read the first line and was like, “WHOAAAAAAAAAA!” Then realized it was a flashback and was like, “Damn!”
So bittersweet and addictive…
this is flashback i hope and your comment about happy ending scared me a little…i’m gonna resort to begging: please, please give us happy tibette ending
I have to remember the flashbacks…lol…I love them but I get caught up and I’m like they are talking …yeah…then I realize she still left for 2 years…sigh. Why are you toying with our emotions…not telling you how to write but please have a happy ending in there somewhere. They belong together as a family. They love each other.
So why did Tina take the wrong turn at this point when Bette admitted that she’d never love another like she had Tina and did not rule out a future together for them? This story is enough to drive me to drink.
That just rips at my heart…tks for posting
Hey Citygirl! I’m loving this story. You do a fantastic job of blending the memories with the present. Although i admit it usually takes me a moment to realize which is which LOL. And you’re right if it was anyone but you..i would think…happy ending…but that’s ok…you always do a great job. Can’t wait for more. OH by the way..is this the fic you were telling me about at the convention?
That was a great update City. A sad chapter. Thanks! I know you would give a happy ending for us B&T fans! :) So then tomorrow it is! the 7th!
Another Great Chapter. Bette was right to tell Tina it was not the right time for them. But maybe soon one can hope. Thanks PPS
Wow! That was such a strong chapter. Thanks!
… god, the heartache of this story… It’s so painful but still I want more. Damn, what’s that all about?! LOL…
This is a love to hate story for me, its so sad…BUT I am hanging out for a happy ending!!!!
great as usual. thanks for the update and looking forward to reading more soon.
That was a sad and also a happy chapter. Tina knows that she is wrong or was, Bette is just the sweet lovealbe Bette with Tina thanks
As always great chappy!PPS
Wow, you draw me in every time. You know it’s bad when Bette is too worried to be pissed off at how self destructive Tina is being and it only got worse for Tina. Love the back and forth, keeping us on the edge of our seats waiting for more.
CityGal, That was tragic as both Bette and Tina realized what their stupidity and self-denial had cost them and those they profess to love. Hopefully this act will be cathartic and let them begin again. Brilliant emotional writing. Thank you for this moving and magnificent melodrama. Your Loyal Fan.
Happy or sad…we will read. I am, of course, pulling for the happy version.