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The First Step
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Tina’s Journal Entry #15
It was nice holding Bette. We stayed that way for hours grieving
the loss of our son. She had been holding that in for a long time. We
should’ve done that months ago. When it first happened. I was so wrapped
up in my own grief. I know I pushed her away. I shouldn’t have pushed
her away. I shouldn’t have run away to Vancouver. I shouldn’t have
blamed Bette at all. I assumed she’d just take me back. When she didn’t,
I spiraled. I should’ve leaned on her. She has always been my anchor. She
has always been the love of my life – even before I met her. My soul was
waiting for her to show up. I will never take her for granted ever again.
Now it’s time for us to find our way back to each other. We need to heal
together. I think she’s ready. I hope she’s ready. I pray she’s ready.
I love her so much.
Tina’s Journal Entry #16
I didn’t sleep at all last night. After I put Bette to bed, I just stared at her for a
while until her breathing evened out. Then I went to the guest room and stared at
the ceiling. She was so exhausted. Hours of crying will do that to you, I guess. I’ve never
seen her cry like that before. It broke my heart. I am so grateful she allowed me to hold
her. Shit! We still have so much to work through. I need to go for a run to clear my head.
Bette’s Journal Entry #16
I don’t even know when Julia hung up. I just know it felt so good to be in
Tina’s arms. Everything else faded away. I melted into her. She’s so soft
but still firm. Her scent infiltrated my soul. She always smells so fucking
good. Her pheromones were made just for my inhalation. How is it that she
always smells so fucking good? I’m glad we had that moment together. I couldn’t
stop the tears. Julia was getting on my fucking nerves but without her, I’m
not sure we would’ve been able to share that moment. So, I’m grateful to her for
helping me to get out of my own way. That truly is the only way Tina and I are going
to figure this shit out. I have got to stop being the roadblock to our reconciliation.
I know my life doesn’t work without Tee. Tee…not Tina. :) She is my airsweet Tee.
Always and forever. I’m so stubborn. It’s fucking hideous. When Dana tells me to
get the fuck over myself, it’s time I got the fuck over myself. I know what I want.
I know who I want. My life does not work without Tee. Simple as that. Everyone
knows it. I know it. It’s been proven over the last 6 months. We have a lot more
work to do. But I am finally ready to take the first step.
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What a wonderful surprise to see a new update!
Alice, she made me laugh with her reaction to see Bette & Tina together at The Planet.
Finally they seem to take slow steps forward, still so much to work through but Bette really seems to accept she is the one who held back out of hurt and fear and understandable and Tina coming to the realization she deliberately hurt Bette and fucked up really bad but both are soulmates and really really love and need each other, so with taking slow steps they will rebuild their relationship with a little help from Julia.
Great story!!!
Thank you!! This chapter came together very quickly. I was excited to post it. They definitely have more to work through but they are taking ownership of their parts in their current situation. They just have to keep talking and showing up.
Seems I have not commented in quite a while. Time to remedy that. I agree with all Bibi wrote. This is an excellent chapter and a phenomenal story. You have these characters nailed. Alice was perfect. I laughed out loud. Plus your writing style is truly excellent. “Alice finally looked up. She noticed Bette first. Then Tina. Then Bette and Tina. Together.” I love it. Also, I could actually hear Jen and Laurel doing the dialogue in character as Bette and Tina. Flawless writing. What is staying with me this morning is Bette’s beautiful thought: “I love Tee. I’m in love with Tee. I’ve always been in love with her. She is my twin flame. My soulmate. My air.” Twin flame! Wow. Quite a wonderful story. Congratulations.
Thank you!! I’m glad you are reading it in their voices. I’m doing my best to depict them.
I like that Bette sensed that her love for Tina was more rebust than the fear of abandonment and she tested that hope when going to the guest room and NOT panicing when Tina WASN’T there.
Instead she checked places (the dresser & closet) where clothes are kept. Brava!!
Later, Tina laid it on-the-line by sending “the” purple dress with the invitation to return to the “scene of the crime” and slay hauntinh demon whispers.
And they did it!! Neither ran away. WhoooHoooo!!
TB4 U know U had us sniffling happy tears when their “souls” said a simple, pure,
hello . . .
Thank you!!! It is time their souls reconnect and collide. They still have a lot of work to do.
I adore this story.
Thank you so much!
So glad to see another chapter. This story is so captivating.
Thank you so much for posting
I’m glad you’re enjoying it. Thanks for reading!